Monday, April 16, 2007

The Nursery School Lollipop Incident

This is a picture of the atrocious stained glass I've been working on for the past few weeks. It looks like I cut the glass with my teeth, doesn't it? The reason it's pictured here is because I'd like to draw your attention to the middle triangle and the two bottom rectangles. These were originally supposed to be a different color, but I kept cutting the glass wrong and then I ran out, so I had to borrow some leftovers from the teacher. This amber color was the only one that sort of worked, but now, whenever I look at it, I'll be forever reminded of
Join me as we journey back in time 32 years when I was attending nursery school. It was a special day because the teachers gave us lollipops-- big, round, flat lollipops, but we weren't allowed to eat them until we got home. I got a rootbeer lollipop that was the same color as the aforementioned stained glass. We went out to the courtyard to play and we all brought our lollipops. Merriment ensued and we were preoccupied; lollipops got abandoned amongst the playground equipment. One of the coveted swings was open, so I went over to it and lo and behold, there was my lollipop. Hurrah! Only, as I started to pick it up I knew something was wrong. It wasn't the rootbeer lollipop, it was an orange one. The thing was, they were so close in color, it was an honest mistake. But it was too late. Some little bratty girl saw me pick up the pop and freaked out, telling the teachers I was stealing her lollipop. And this, my friends, was when the lollipop trauma started to sink deep into the nuclei of my cells. The teachers rushed over; I stood in shocked silence. Me? Quiet little innocent ME steal her lollipop? Never. But I was too scared to say anything. I just stood there. I got reprimanded. Somehow it all worked out, but I don't remember the rest. It was just the beginning of misunderstandings and disappointments in my life. Kind of like the stained glass. I had visions of being the next Tiffany but now I know why stained glass is so expensive. It's one great big pain in the butt. So let this be a lesson to you: Never put down your lollipop. And it's worth every penny for stained glass.

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