Post-The Sporkful Interview: When things got really scary

Hopefully by now you've listened to The Sporkful podcast I mentioned in my previous post and you've become instant fans of Dan and Mark. (I dare you to listen to the egg sandwich episode and not stop at the deli tomorrow morning.) If you haven't heard it yet, take a 1/2 hour and give it a listen. Then come back and read the rest of this post in which I reveal to you what happened after the taping. I'll wait here.
***
Okay.

I went to bed that night full of nervous energy. I’m not a public speaker (if you couldn’t already tell), so I thought my nerves were all jangly over that. But then, suddenly! Terror raced through me! Ohmygosh … I realized that the Sugar Baby had never had a full-sized, four-fingered Kit Kat. I knew the challenge that lay before me.

The next day I went out and bought a Kit Kat. After I fed the Sugar Baby lunch and he was fully ensconced in Phineas & Ferb, I casually pulled it out of the pantry. “Hey,” I said, “check it out.”

His eyes grew when he saw, what very possibly might have been, the first non-Fun Size candy bar he’s ever had. “I can have it?” he asked. “The whole thing?”

“Yes!” I said, excitedly. “Your first big Kit Kat!” And then I got out the camera, as if I wanted to document this huge milestone in his life. Of course, what I was really doing was baiting him. I wanted to see what an unconditioned, un-candy-socialized soul would do with four connected Kit Kat fingers. And this, dear Yumsters, is what he did.

He bit into the whole thing. He grasped all four chocolate fingers at once and bit into them. Oh the humanity! I started laughing, not in a good way, but in an anxiety-ridden, holy crap kind of way. “Let me show you something,” I said, and pulled the bar from his grasp. “Look at these sections. Don’t you think it would be fun to break off each piece?” I asked.

He looked seriously ticked off. “No,” he said, and took the bar back. Eventually it split of its own accord, and that really aggravated him. 

 

Meanwhile, I was having a moment of my own, being transported back in time to that day at Grand Union when the little boy chomped on the Kit Kat and forever altered my world.

As I mentioned on The Sporkful, my own way of eating a Kit Kat is certainly not for everyone. (I believe Dan referred to it as "corn-cobbing.") It requires a certain level of patience and dexterity that I understand not everyone has. So then I was hit with a second blow. I was mentioning my typical Kit Kat attack plan to my Partner-In-Crime, and she said, “Well, that’s how I eat it, too.” WHAT? Now this was a shocker. I don’t understand how I’ve never seen her eat a Kit Kat and furthermore, I can’t believe she eats it the same way. We could’ve gone to our death beds and not known that we had this brilliant piece of confectionery minutiae in common.

Well, you know where this is all leading. I have to know how you eat a Kit Kat. Are there other four-finger biters out there? Or other deconstructionists? Tell me your technique and I’ll tell you all about yourself. A sort of fortune telling by Kit Kat strategy, if you will.  

The Sporkful talks Halloween candy

Hey Yumsters, I have a particularly sweet treat for you today. I had the honor of being a guest on The Sporkful, which, if you don't already know, is perhaps the most brilliant food podcast in existence. I mean, when you can do a whole show about ice and leave your audience wanting for more, you know you're doing something right.
Listen to it here.  (Episode 94: Halloween 2011).
This time, the hosts Dan Pashman and Mark Garrison dove deep into the multi-faceted world of Halloween candy. Their first guest, Gabe, wrote a manifesto about Halloween candy. I can't say I agree with all his proclamations, but he appears to be a kindred spirit. I talked about the correct way to eat a Kit Kat (or shall I say, the preferred method) and I name the most overrated and underrated Halloween candies. Check it out and then come back here later. I'm going to explain what happened after the show was taped and the incident that filled me with extreme shock and horror. You won't want to miss it.

Kit Kat Cake!

The very fabulous June pulled me aside at my birthday party and said, "You might want to open your gift now." She presented me with a perfect box tied with a ribbon. It was kind of freakishly perfect, like it was part of Let's Make a Deal or like I was on a soap opera. I untied the ribbon and she helped me carefully lift the top to reveal:
A candy cake! Look at this beautiful thing. It's surrounded by Kit Kats and topped with Reese's Pieces. I mean, really, does it get any better than this? think she does this for a living or something, but no, it was just a little project she took up. Personally, I think she needs to hang out a shingle that says, "Junie's Kandy Kakes."

Wafer Madness!

It's been one of those days. You know, one of those days where you wish you could've just stayed in bed and read a book. Or, perhaps more accurately, it was the type of day where you wished you had a superpower, like the ability to shoot lightning bolts from your eyes when people really pissed you off.
But it's the end of the day, and all is quiet and nice, and best of all, I have these: These are Qbel candy bars and they've been making the candy blog circuit. When I saw that Cybele gave one of the Crispy Wafer Bars a 10 out of 10, I was very anxious to try them.

Here's the deal with these: they're all natural (no artificial colors or flavors, no hydrogenated oils, no corn syrup) and they'll be sold at Whole Foods. When I was originally thinking about what I was going to write about these, I was going to get on my soapbox about the necessity of looking at ingredients and paying attention to what we're really eating and say "Kudos to Qbel for making a delicious all-natural product!"

But no one wants to hear my preaching. Especially me. It's been too long of a day for all that. Yes, these are all natural, but that's not the point. The point is: these are damn good candy bars. They come in two shapes: wafer rolls and wafer bars, and they come in dark chocolate, milk chocolate, peanut butter and crispy rice. I could slice and dice and dissect them all for you, but instead, I'm going to tell you to just go out and try them. You won't be disappointed. They are yum, yum, yummy!*

The folks over at Qbel were generous with their samples, and I'd do a giveaway, but I'm feeling really lazy and don't want to go to the post office again this week I'm afraid they'd get crushed in the mail. So if you're nearby, just come to the House of Yum for a sample. Otherwise, show your support for this small family company and give their wafery goodness a try.

(*I will say, however, that the dark chocolate wafer rolls just might rival Dark Kit Kats as my favorite candy bars!)

The Little Blogger That Could

I've cleaned off my desk; now it's time to organize my desktop in preparation for the new job. Can I even write it without hyperventilating? Okay, here goes:

I'vetakenapositionastheEditorinChiefofawomen'shealthmagazineOMGOMGOMGIcandoit,Icandoit. (No comments from the Peanut Gallery about the candy/health conflict please.)

There. So I've found some miscellaneous candy items that I
just haven't gotten around to writing about yet. Here we have a Kit
Kat Caramel that No-Nuts bought and devoured. Okay, yes, she did share with me. It was better than I expected. For some reason I thought the caramel would be stiffer and chewier, but this was more soft and flowy, like a Caramello. It was yummy.
And kudos to Nestle for not spelling caramel with a
"K."

Those little pink things are Russian candies from my mother's neighbor. I'm not sure what flavor they were, but there was some sort of little berry printed on the wrapper. They were chewy, like taffy.

Lastly, we have a Choxie dark chocolate coconut bar. I had high hopes for this one, but it tasted overwhelmingly like suntan lotion. Why the fake coconut flavor, Target? I bought this bar when I was with Susan (not MKAFFGGF), and she bought some sort of toffee variation that was way better.

(What's up with this wonky lay out? Mercury must be in retrograde.)

Score!

Cat: 1
Mouse: 0

Coconut found herself a squeaky little playmate last night by the Hershey's Kiss I set out as bait. But still, it doesn't bring my beloved dark Kit Kat back... sigh.

Someone's Been Eating My Dark Kit Kat

I was cleaning off my desk yesterday in an attempt to prepare for the new job (more on this later; can't talk it about it now without having a panic attack) and I picked up my bag of candy that Ms. Chops brought me back from Canada. At one point in time it contained the following deliciousness:

Coffee Crisp (yum!)

Caramilk Dark (Oh, super yum!)

Caramilk Maple (Subtle yum!)

and several Kit Kat Noirs (the be-all and end-all)

No-Nuts and I had put a major dent into the stash, so there was only half of a maple Caramilk and a dark Kit Kat in the bag when ...

"What the ???" I uttered as I held a gnawed-upon Kit Kat up for review. Something had gotten into my stash and nibbled away. Upon closer inspection, I found teeny-tiny oh-so-gross mouse poops on my desk! A mouse (mice?!) have been eating my precious dark Kit Kats! I know, I know, totally icky. Nasty. Hanta virus. Disgusting. YUCK! Seriously, I'm not that much of a slob that I should have little rodents hanging out in my living room, eating my candy and surfing on my laptop.

So today the Sugar Baby and I went over to Grandma and Pop Pop's and borrowed back my cat Coconut. She is the ultimate hunter. If she can't solve this problem, no cat can. It's gonna be a rockin' night in the old Candy Yum Yum house. And to paraphrase another candy slogan, "Nobody Better Lay a Finger on My Kit Kats."

Watermelon Kit Kat?! Those Wacky Japanese!

I'm back from the Haus von Schokolat and I have lots and lots to report, but in the meantime, check out this gem from Kyoto Foodie: watermelon salt Kit Kat! Apparently the package says to "serve chilled."

Cheese Field Trip

Why cheese on a candy blog? Sit back, I'll tell you why. Today Sue MKAFFGGF, Henri and I went on a cheese field trip to the U.K. Gourmet because I'd heard on the radio that they had Sticky Toffee Cheese. I have no idea what that is, really, but it sounded so good I had to check it out. So we went and sadly, they were all out of it. However, I did manage to spend $75 on miscellaneous candy, tea and biscuits.
This is the type of store I have total ADD in. It's small, but there's so much on the shelves and it's all stuff I've never seen before, so it's just plain exciting! While I was hyperventilating over British chocolate ornaments, Sue MKAFFGGF managed to sniff out the store's last three dark chocolate Kit Kats.
I just need to say, these really, truly are the ultimate candy for me. This is my desert island candy bar. The chocolate is thick, but not too sweet and of course the layers are all crunchy yummy. Usually when I eat a regular Kit Kat, I dissect the poor thing, eating the chocolate off the sides, then eating each layer one at a time. But with these, forget it. That takes too much time. I Heart Dark Kit Kats. I'll be posting a photo soon of my glorious bounty. (Here's an official warning: if you're a friend, you might not want to look, because chances are pretty good your Christmas present is there.)

And in other news, I implore you all to visit this blog: http://www.nates-wife.blogspot.com/. (UNLESS YOU'RE BETSY-- don't go there! Again, the Christmas deal.) It has nothing to do with candy, but in my personal challenge to buy hand-crafted, non-Made-in-China things for Christmas, I stumbled upon this very cool site.

Bar None is back! (And other candy news)

Well, not really. But the new Nestle Crunch Crisp is pretty damn close to the Bar None of my memory. I first heard about this new bar from William at Chocolate Obsession, where he described it as the "horrific love child of a Nestle Crunch and Kit Kat." Love that! So I had to try it. Oh YUM! It was crispy wafers and chocolatey cream and crunchy stuff. It's not crunchy enough to "feel" like a Nestle Crunch and the chocolate cream pushes aside any Kit Kat references. I really dig this bar. I will admit, though, that I tried it after a few glasses of champagne, so it could be that I'm totally off-base. Guess I'll just have to try it again to be sure.
In other candy news, apparently Dum Dums are having a contest where you can enter to have a lollipop flavor named after you (or your kid). I can't think of any "H" flavors to go with Henri, though.
And this is pretty exciting, although it's not candy-related: the banana Twinkie is back! Apparently this is the summer of banana. I thought Twinkies were going to be discontinued for some reason, but I guess not. I haven't kept up on the news. But I have a vague recollection of banana Twinkies from when I was a kid, although naturally I always preferred a Chocodile, which was a Twinkie-like cake covered in chocolate.

Guest Review!

Well thank goodness someone is on the ball. Alexandra stumbled upon the British section at the grocery store and had to give the KitKat Chunky a try. Here's here review:

Looks just like the smaller bar, inside & out! (But will it taste as yummy? Let's find out!) Looks can be deceiving -- sometimes good things come in small packages, sometimes not. The idea of having one large KitKat to enjoy enrobed in lots of milk chocolate seemed like such a good idea. After giving this KitKat its photo op, I took a bite, and another. Yes, it tasted just like the smaller ones, but there was something about it... there was more chocolate covering the wafers - could this be a bad thing? The wafers seemed okay, but was there an extra layer or 2 in there? Too bad I didn't have a small bar to compare with! As much as I enjoy a yummy KitKat every now and then, I couldn't even finish this one! It was almost too chocolately and the wafers lost their "airyness" in such a large size. I think I'll stick to the small package with the 4 break-away bars.

I totally agree, Alex! There's just something inherently "KitKat" about the fine balance between chocolate and wafers. KitKats are one of those bars that just shouldn't be messed with. A fresh KK is probably my favorite candy bar.

Random stuff

A big Hershey's Hug to Sera for pointing out an interesting fact about 3 Musketeers: the bar is called that because originally it was three pieces with three different fillings, vanilla, chocolate and strawberry. Now that sounds intriguing. Why don't they bring that back?
Some other miscellaneous stuff:
I tried the Dolly Mix from my big stash o' British candy. I can't wait to tell you about it. Exciting stuff!
Last night we watched a DVD of Mitch Hedberg, the comedian who died way too young. Anyhow, he had a couple of good candy comments, like:
"I can't wait for this set to be over because I have a roll of LifeSavers in my pocket and pineapple is the next flavor."
AND
"I like Kit Kats, as long as I'm not with four or more people."