Thursday, November 06, 2008

Hanging with The Connection: Totally Dope!

I saw The Connection this weekend and he had a few surprises up his sleeve for me. First off, an Israeli candy bar. You can't see in the horrid picture, but the wrapper shows a cow with a piece of chocolate and a fireworks-type explosion. Upon first glance, you'd think this was a piece of milk chocolate with bits of toffee in it. But then you put it in your mouth and-- taadaa! Fireworks! It's like it's filled with Pop Rocks. Suddenly these little glassy shards start popping in your mouth and in your head it sounds like sleet hitting a window. Good fun! The creepy part is that, even after you swallow the chocolate, the popping continues.
Next up, another horrid picture. But this is a gem, believe me. Here we have an excerpt from The Connection's travel journal, circa 1994. In it, he details every pound he spent on jams, boxers and tea at the Muffin Man. He also, however, rated the beers and chocolates he had, so without further ado, I give you The Connection's Pre-Blog Guide to British Sweets. (Note the ratings, from 1/2 star to three.)
Cadbury Caramel
**1/2: long sectioned bar, like Rolo, better smoother caramel, good chocolate
Nestle Lion
**: combination Kit Kat/Twix, lumpy ugly bar. If seen floating in a pool would cause a scare.
Terry's Bitz
***: very good chocolate with crunchy bits of mint crisp. Like eating the all-American mint Girl Scout cookie. Totally dope!
Nestle Secret
*1/2: Form over function, the Secret's out. This beautifully designed bar gets the chocolate engineer's award. Beautifully latticed wiring wrapped around chocolate mousse. Mousse like tough marshmallow. Disappointing.
Nestle Vice Versas
**: Oversize M&Ms thin dark shell over white chocolate and vice versa! White chocolate is great (from Switz.) but the Versa is the choc. It lacks.
Nestle Milky Bar
*: Small compact bar. Ok white choc. Basically it's mountain white.
Cadbury Timeout
1/2: They should call it quits and go to the showers. 2 bars like Twix with folded Flake chocolate between 2 wafers covered in chocolate. Almost no taste. Like eating cotton.
His last surprise will be unveiled soon. It'll be a treat for everyone!

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