Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce--
Great Jeff!
A little background: Mr. Goodbar has a humungo extended family. I haven't met everyone, but I pretty much know who's who in the scheme of things. Or so I thought.
When the Baroness said that Uncle Jeff was coming, I thought, okay, cool, I know him. Except I didn't. See, apparently in my own slightly mixed up crazy mind, I assumed that Uncle John and Uncle Jeff were the same person. I don't know why they'd have two different names, or why one would live in Maine and the other in New York, but for some reason, I had merged them in my mind. Whatever, okay? It happens. You try keeping track of 8 aunts and uncles and their spouses and kids and cousins.
So in walks this guy that I've never seen before, but instantly I know: he's going to be a font of wisdom. Turns out he teaches chemistry and something else-- home ec? yoga? I don't remember-- but he's definitely the kind of teacher that the kids must love. How do I know this? Because one night, during dinner, amidst all the noise from a zillion different conversations, I heard him say this: "Oh, you can do an experiment with gummy bears!"
My ears perked up and I grabbed a Sharpie and the nearest piece of paper (a recipe for "The Once and Future Beans"; sorry Carl, didn't mean to steal your stuff). This is where it gets kind of fuzzy, because I had been enjoying one or two of K.C.'s famous Manhattans at the time and I don't quite remember all the details. So this is what my notes say:
Pyrex test tube +sodium or potassium chlorate
wax burner, melt to almost a boil
Dunk in ice water: Twizzler, one gummy bear
Sacrifice!
Flame 10 feet
KABOOM! (with rough sketch of an erupting volcano)
(At this point let me just say, Candy Yum Yum and its owners and affiliates, as well as Uncle Jeff and the myriad uncles, aunts and cousins, are not responsible for anything you may do with the above information. The utmost caution should always be used when handling gummy bears and potassium chlorate.)
Good fun, good fun. As for the name The Great Jeff, we were trying to teach the Sugar Baby to say "Uncle Jeff," when we realized that he would in fact be his great uncle. Jeff decided that the "uncle" part was unnecessary. Great would suffice.
Great Jeff!
A little background: Mr. Goodbar has a humungo extended family. I haven't met everyone, but I pretty much know who's who in the scheme of things. Or so I thought.
When the Baroness said that Uncle Jeff was coming, I thought, okay, cool, I know him. Except I didn't. See, apparently in my own slightly mixed up crazy mind, I assumed that Uncle John and Uncle Jeff were the same person. I don't know why they'd have two different names, or why one would live in Maine and the other in New York, but for some reason, I had merged them in my mind. Whatever, okay? It happens. You try keeping track of 8 aunts and uncles and their spouses and kids and cousins.
So in walks this guy that I've never seen before, but instantly I know: he's going to be a font of wisdom. Turns out he teaches chemistry and something else-- home ec? yoga? I don't remember-- but he's definitely the kind of teacher that the kids must love. How do I know this? Because one night, during dinner, amidst all the noise from a zillion different conversations, I heard him say this: "Oh, you can do an experiment with gummy bears!"
My ears perked up and I grabbed a Sharpie and the nearest piece of paper (a recipe for "The Once and Future Beans"; sorry Carl, didn't mean to steal your stuff). This is where it gets kind of fuzzy, because I had been enjoying one or two of K.C.'s famous Manhattans at the time and I don't quite remember all the details. So this is what my notes say:
Pyrex test tube +sodium or potassium chlorate
wax burner, melt to almost a boil
Dunk in ice water: Twizzler, one gummy bear
Sacrifice!
Flame 10 feet
KABOOM! (with rough sketch of an erupting volcano)
(At this point let me just say, Candy Yum Yum and its owners and affiliates, as well as Uncle Jeff and the myriad uncles, aunts and cousins, are not responsible for anything you may do with the above information. The utmost caution should always be used when handling gummy bears and potassium chlorate.)
Good fun, good fun. As for the name The Great Jeff, we were trying to teach the Sugar Baby to say "Uncle Jeff," when we realized that he would in fact be his great uncle. Jeff decided that the "uncle" part was unnecessary. Great would suffice.
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