Thursday, October 22, 2009

Revisiting M&M's Premiums

I try not to use the self-checkout at the grocery store because 1) I want to create jobs for people, not reduce them and 2) Something always goes wrong and I have to wait for the wasteoid stoned teenager with the scraggly goatee to come help. I didn't have much choice the other day though when I was buying the incredibly stereotypical milk, eggs and bread. It was either wait in a ridiculously long line for a human check-out person, or do the self-serve. As I was trying to scan my card, I noticed a box top popping out from the other side of the impulse purchase rack. It was a small box of M&M's Premiums in Triple Chocolate.
I've written about the Premiums before. Here I was shocked at the price. In this post, the Baroness bought some mint ones and I decided they tasted like a peppermint patty. Then the Baron shocked us all with his review, and then Liesl set the record straight and said she really liked them.
Frankly, I couldn't remember what I thought of them, so I grabbed a box. (Very impulsive of me.)
Here it is, my final decision: these are wrong.
To be labeled an M&M, in my book anyway, you must have a hard candy shell. I was taken aback by the waxy soft coating on these. It was shocking, kind of like if you guzzle a glass of water only to find out that it was pure vodka, as a certain guitar store owner's three-year-old daughter did recently.
These are fine as stand-alone candies, but as "M&M's," they just don't work. You need that combination of crunchy slick shell with creamy milk chocolate.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

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