Wednesday, February 25, 2009

An Update (Or, "Hey Richard Krause! Getta Load Of This!")

As you may recall, back in January I was thrilled when Necco unveiled this year's Conversation Hearts' sayings because one of them was "Yum Yum." In the press photo, a cute girl in a white apron is shown holding a giant cardboard "Yum Yum" heart. I suggested to the Necco people that it might be in their best interest really cool if they sent me this giant heart, considering, you know, this is Candy Yum Yum and, after all, I have given them some free press in the past.

Then, in another article, I saw this photo and caption, courtesy of the Associated Press:


CHARLES KRUPA/Associated Press
Richard Krause, the President and CEO at the New England Confectionery Company (Necco), poses with thousands of multi-colored "Sweethearts" candy at the company in Revere, Mass. Krause says Necco needs to expand its brand in the United States.


Fast forward to Valentine's Day when I posted this:

Several Yumsters were excited for me, thinking I had procured the above-mentioned giant Yum Yum heart. Let me now set the record straight: no one, I repeat, no one has sent me the mock Yum Yum Conversation Heart. The above picture was generated at www.cryptogram.com/heart.

So let me take this opportunity to say:

Hello Mr. Krause!

You certainly look like a cheerful fellow, the type of person one would expect to be president of a candy company. I hope you're enjoying your new-ish position at Necco. (I'm sure it's more fun than the stuffy and rumored-to-be-in-league-with-the-devil Procter & Gamble.)
In any case, I understand that you're seeking to "expand the (Necco) brand in the
United States." Allow me to give you some pointers:

  • Capitalize on the fact that you're the oldest candy company in the United States. We're all feeling very patriotic these days and Mr. Obama is imploring us to Buy American! Get the word out that Necco Wafers are made in the U.S. with grade A edible ingredients, unlike candy from say, China, which is new and improved with melamine.
  • Get hip to the times. See, you're on the cusp of retro/old-fashioned. Everyone remembers Necco wafers from their youth, but do they buy them today? Pump up the retro factor. We all want to feel young again. (Although you're on the right track with your soon-to-be-released Twilight/vampire-themed hearts. Good thinking!)
  • Start an urban legend. Everyone knows that green M&Ms are supposed to
    make you feel more amorous. What do black Necco wafers do? Increase your I.Q.? (Get this rumor going on college campuses and suddenly Necco wafers will take the place of Adderall and Ritalin.)
  • Offer limited editions. You know your Sky Bars? They're really cool (again, the retro factor), but how can I put this gently? They're gross. Maybe you can reformulate them to taste better and have a "mystery" filling. Go beyond the
    caramel, peanut, fudge and whatever that white one is. Think cool, think 2009.
    Pomegranate? Caramelized banana? Colombian coffee bean?

Well, there's just a few ideas, Mr. Krause. Free of charge. On the house. Unless, of course, you have a giant heart you'd be willing to part with. I'm just sayin'.

Most sincerely yours,

Madame Yum Yum




5 comments:

philly said...

"What do black Necco wafers do? Increase your I.Q.?"

Aww ^___^ I have a math test tomorrow, black necco wafers for breakfast!!!!!!

Necco-Door Neighbor said...

Have you heard that Necco hearts were featured on ER last week? The red-haired doctor and the buxom detective finally got together and she gave him Necco hearts for Valentine's Day. He had never heard of them (guess he grew up on Mars). It was actually an awesome episode, and the guy who plays Steve on Sex and the City was featured... but I digress. Will try to spread the black Necco heart = adderall effect rumor amongst my college acquaintances, who are big ER fans.

Candy Yum Yum said...

First of all Necco-Door Neighbor, that is an awesome moniker.
Second, I did not know that Necco hearts were on ER. That is very interesting. Third, please spread this rumor about black Neccos; I'd love to have an urban legend traced back to me. (Although now I'm thinking I should've picked the purple/clove ones. Oh well.)

philly said...

"(Although now I'm thinking I should've picked the purple/clove ones. Oh well.)"

I think black works good ^__^ Black is kinda a serious color :D

Riven DeMohr said...

www.neccosforbreakfast.com