Hippity, Hoppity

Gadzoinks! I just looked at the calendar and Easter is early this year. Ash Wednesday is right around the corner, so you'd better start gorging on chocolate soon before the 40 days of sugar deprivation.

I was looking around to see what's new this year and came across these Peeps Tulips. Very cute, no? I wonder if the Easter Bunny will be stopping at my house this year? Just my luck, he'll probably bring the Sugar Baby a basket full of fruit.

Freedom Bar

Keep those candy bar fantasies coming! It's fun to see what other people love in their candy bars. In the meantime, this tidbit was too delicious not to share:

(Editor's note: the following is not necessarily the opinion of Candy Yum Yum or anyone employed by the house of CYY. Although, really, we find it quite yummy. However, being the open-minded institution that we are, we will gladly run your version of an Obamarama Bar or a Shrieking Hillary Pop.)

I dream of a chocolate bar in the shape of George Bush. It would be in celebration of his last "State of the Union" speech. Its purpose would be a good-will chocolate bar to be distributed free of charge to all the countries we have alienated and just plain pissed off during his 8 year reign. It would be of the best quality free-trade organic bitter-sweet chocolate, with delicious nuts, and dried fruit from a wide range of countries representing a celebration and acceptance of all faiths, nationalities, and lifestyles living together harmoniously, free of religious right wing, corporate money-grubbing, pathological liar- nazi freaks formally known as the "Bush Administration". The head of the GWB Freedom Bar would, of course, be full of marshmallow. That, dear Miss Yumyum, is my dream bar.

Start Hoarding, My Friends!

It's starting ... Hershey has announced that it will raise its chocolate prices by 13 percent, due to milk and cocoa costs. This does not bode well for the future.

Chocolate Party!

Oh, how fabulous the Internet can be! I was searching on line to see if I can mail an actual Altoids box by just sticking some stamps directly on it (more on this later), when I came across this link to a "Midnight at the Chocolate Factory" party. How cool! Each table was themed after a character from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I so want to have a chocolate party!

Because Mixing Vegetables and Candy is Such a Good Idea

See now, finding something like this would really make my day. It's "Corn Flavor Creamy Candy." Those wacky Japanese.

What's Your Fantasy Candy Bar?

I just have to say, things have been pretty uneventful and boring on the candy front lately. Surprising, since Valentine's Day and Easter-- the two biggest candy holidays besides Halloween-- are just around the corner. But I haven't found anything lately that really excites me. It's quite depressing, actually.
So this got me to thinking: if I had to invent a candy bar, what would it be? I went through lots of different ideas in my head, but I've settled on these two. They are a homage to my beloved pets of blessed memory, P.J., a.k.a. Chompy, (a very stubborn and naughty Basset hound) and Guy Noir (the most adorable, fluffy and aloof black cat).

CHOMP!
This would be a candy bar shaped like a bone. It would have a vanilla/marshmallowy center with a thin layer of oozy caramel and crunchy almonds. And it would come wrapped in an IRS rebate check, just like the one P.J. ate.

The Noir Bar
This would be a bar of extremely dark chocolate with catnip. No, no, just kidding. It would be dark chocolate with salted cashews. Maybe it would be shaped like a fish, or have fang marks in it.

Those are my dream candy bars. What are yours? Maybe, just maybe, there will be a prize for the yummiest sounding.

Someday Soon This Will Be a Chocolate-Covered Coffee Bean

Truffle Pig

How could you resist a candy bar called "Truffle Pig?" You can't, I tell you! I found this at Wild Oats and look, the bar itself has pigs on it. Very cute. I bought the peanut butter one and was expecting the center to be like, well, like a Reese's of course. (I think the other flavor was chocolate truffle, but I can't remember.) But it wasn't like a peanut butter cup. It was chocolate with tiny pieces of peanut. At first I wasn't sure if I liked it, but then it quickly grew on me. It's not overly sweet, so I think that's what initially threw me off.

I'm not sure if having the word "pig" on the label is a good thing or not, but hey, it didn't stop me from buying it.

Nothing Whatsoever To Do With Candy

This, my friends, is what a coffee bean looks like way before it gets to Starbucks.

Yes, after ten or so years of gentle nurturing, my lone surviving coffee plant has begun sprouting beans! I can't tell you how excited I am.

I originally had two coffee plants that I bought at Trader Joe's. They were tiny, but over time they grew into tall, dark, beautiful trees. When I got pregnant, however, I was sure that I could smell the acrid caffeine oozing from one of the trees, so I made Mr. Goodbar take it out behind the garage and put it (and me) out of its misery. I figured the lone tree would never sprout coffee beans, but this summer, lo and behold, a tiny green berry appeared. Now there's a bunch of them and they're fattening up and turning red. I planted the first two beans and I'm going to save the rest for the first official batch of Candy Yum Yum coffee.

One Perfect Piece: Perfection Found!

The last piece of the Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate was a Creme Brulee. I'm not a huge fan of real creme brulee to start with, probably because it brings to mind the night we went to a wine dinner and consumed way too much food and wine, capped off by a dessert of-- you guessed it-- creme brulee. The result was having to stop the car on the way home so I could, uh, "revisit" the menu.
So I left that chocolate for last, figuring it'd be the least exciting. Boy, was I wrong. It was fantastic. A snappy dark chocolate cup, with a layer of caramel, a layer of white cream, and a crunchy sugar top. Seriously, I could've eaten an entire box of just these. So sad that there were only two (one for me, one for Mr. Goodbar). This needs to be a candy bar onto itself. Are you listening, Trader Joe? Make it into a big, yummy bar and I'll be forever your number one customer!

One Perfect Piece: Piece, the Third

Okay, so I had a glass or two of wine before I took this picture. I don't even remember what this was, but it was good. I seem to recall that it was crunchy and yummy.

Anyhow, the box of Trader Joe's Dark Chocolates was a big success. They were all really good and I managed to only have one piece a day. Huzzah!

Move Over Paula Deen!

This is one funny book. Yes, indeedy, it's full of recipes that you can make with ingredients from the Mini-Mart. Like what, you ask? Oh, how about Spam Wellington, Poop on a Pringle or a Nutty Sombrero?

The best part, of course, is the chapter on desserts. My favorite recipe is for Creamed Candy Corn. Here's what you do: you heat a jar of butterscotch topping in the microwave, then add a bag of candy corn. "Scoop onto ice cream, cake, crackers or anything that needs a little boost of corny sweetness and serve immediately." Oooh lala!

My second favorite is The Aquarium. Here's what it says:

"It is true that much has been done with Jell-O, but this dessert is truly special. The gummy fish swimming happily in a delicious sea of blue will elicit a smile even from those who are always bitching about the questionable animal parts that go into making gelatin such a wonderfully jiggly experience."

So basically you mix up some blue Jell-O and stir in "One 8-ounce package Snak Stop Ju Ju Fish or comparable gummy marine life." The picture shows this made in a glass fish bowl. Fun!

Honey Update

Coko Ladou here, with an update from Sue MKAFFGGF's sister Maggie, who sent the Chocolate Honey from the Czeck Republic. Here's what the jar says:

BEEKEEPING
M. Gregor (his name)Beekeeper: Marcel Gregor -address, tel.....sold "in the courtyard" daily 9-4pm
Honey with chocolate (the c with the funny mark is ch)weight, min. 430 gIngredients: honey from nectar, chocolate sauce(vegetable fat, sugar, cocoa powder, lecithin, ethylvanillin) Storage: upto 77 deg. Fahrenheit, without direct sunlight Good until (at least): 12/08

I was kind of hoping it said something more exotic like, "Super mysterious and rich chocolate honey, made by killer bees in Transylvania," but hey, I do dig that "sold in the courtyard" business.

Yesterday I mixed some of the honey into Greek yogurt. OMG! It was so good. I had to fight the Sugar Baby for it.

Mentos Geyser

Part of my fabulous Candy-O-Rama gift from Alex included a gen-yoo-ine "Steve Spangler's Geyser Tube." You might recall from a previous post that Alex had read about this invention in her husband's alumni magazine. Well, here it is folks!

You get a plastic tube and a package of Mentos in the kit. Apparently the tube helps make an even bigger eruption than if you just tossed a mint Mentos into a bottle of Diet Coke.

The back of the package has an explanation of how this works. Something about how the mints have tiny pits all over the surface, so the carbonation from the soda gets in there and something happens and whammo! You've got yourself five seconds of sticky, soda fun! There's a website listed on the back for more information and pictures and such: http://www.geysertube.com/.

S is for Smarties, C is for Chocolate

The latest in the candy paintings. I went with a more graphic, cutesy feel for the Smarties and I was pleased with how the chocolates came out. In the past, my chocolate paintings have ended up looking like big turds.

More Christmas Haul '08

It's a good thing I read the package before taking a big bite out of this. It's Dark Chocolate Soap with Olive Oil, but it looks like a big, yummy hunk o' candy!

Alexandra gave me a big box of all sorts of candy-related stuff. Let's see, there was a deck of cards shaped like candy corn (very cute, and currently hidden from the Sugar Baby), and a notepad with candy corns on it. The Mint Chocolate-Scented candle is very popular with the Sugar Baby for some reason. He enjoys taking the lid off and putting it back on.

I Know the Muffin Man

Here was my first brilliant decision of the day: go to the grocery store on an empty stomach. Brilliant decision number two: instead of lunch, I'll get one of those new Dunkin Donuts Triple Chocolate Muffins. Ughhhh. What was I thinking? Oh sure, it tasted good, not unlike a chocolate cupcake with a chopped up candy bar mixed in. But now my stomach hurts (I didn't even eat the whole thing-- I only ate half!) and I decided to check out the DD website where I found out that said muffin has 600 calories!! Mama Mia! I'm soooo depressed.
And just in time for all the January diets, DD made what I think is a really stupid marketing move: they introduced Milky Way Hot Chocolate and M&Ms Donuts. Why didn't they launch them in November, when everyone's loading up on calories anyway? I don't understand.
In any case, learn from my lesson: if you're craving chocolate, just have a candy bar and don't mess around with muffins. Especially 600 calorie ones.

One Perfect Piece, Week 2

I bought a box of dark chocolates from Trader Joe's. I'd tell you what they're called, except the cat is laying on my left arm right now so I can't get up to look at the box. But it says something about "devilishly, dangerously dark chocolate" on the box and there are 12 pieces.

I'm not exactly sure how we've come to associate danger with dark chocolate, but hey, I'm no advertising guru.

The first piece I had, above, is a bourbon vanilla cream. It was good. Perfect? No, but good enough to satisfy. The chocolate had a nice snap to it-- I like snappy chocolate-- and the vanilla was flavorful.

Now here's the problem. There's no way I can have a box of chocolates in the house and eat one a week. I never pretended that I could do that. My original intention was to buy one piece a week, but that didn't work out. So two weeks into my experiment and it's already falling apart. But hey, these are small chocolates. So instead, I'm aiming for one a day.

A Call From the Baron

The Baron called at 8:30 this morning. I panicked when I saw his number on the caller I.D. Why was he calling so early? (Of course, I'd been up several hours at that point, but for the rest of the non-toddler-scheduled population, that's still early.) What happened? Is someone in the hospital? Quick, quick, answer the phone!
Well, it was an emergency of sorts, I suppose. He had to tell me that he was drinking a new Chocolate Cherry Diet Dr. Pepper. He explained the tasting process in detail, how he sniffed, then sipped it, swished it around to get the full flavor. He's decided he likes it, although, he said, "It's like wine. I wouldn't want to drink it all the time." Huh? What? Who doesn't want to drink wine all the time? Oh Baron, how you disappoint me. Then our phone call was cut short because he was driving through East Bumble where they don't have those fancy cell towers.

Hold me back!

In this month's Food and Wine magazine, they list three new "must-try" chocolates. One of them is Squrtles, which are square turtles, from a Rhode Island store called Garrison Confections. I just checked out their website, and this caught my eye:

Rich chocolate nougat with roasted pistachios and hazelnuts, topped with a creamy and soft caramel, enrobed in dark chocolate. Chocoholics beware! This is what you have been searching for. Just try one and addicted to it you shall become.

Holy cow, does that sound good or what? I'm trying to resist ordering it, but I don't know if that's possible.

Caption Contest Winners!

"Organic candy? You've got to be kidding me!"

Thanks to everyone who wrote in with their great captions for the photo of the Sugarbaby. Here's some more:

"Don't you dare tell my mommy!!! I found her secret stash of candy!!!
Now, if I can only get this package of peanut butter cups open, I'll be
all set!"

*
"Organic peanut butter cups? I want my Reese's NOW!"

Comments

Disregard the post below. The comments are back.

Letters, Oh We Get Letters

So the Ice Cube Queen wrote to me and I could practically hear her cackling away at the "One Perfect Piece" idea. "How long is that going to last?" she asked. Well, probably a day. But I'm trying.
Anyhow, it's come to my attention that my comments button has disappeared. Where has it gone? I can't figure it out. I checked the boxes in Blogger that are supposed to allow comments to appear. Any advice for me? What happened?

Hey There, Honey! ;)

Behold, I present you with:

CHOCOLATE HONEY!

Sue MKAFFGGF gifted me with this jar o' yumminess. Her sister lives somewhere where they make their own soap (Prague or some such place) and she sent this fabulous concoction from her beekeeping neighbor.

Now, I'm not a huge honey fan. I always think I really like honey but then it always ends up being too strong for me, so I was slightly nervous to try this. But Sue MKAFFGGF suggested I try it in chai tea, so that's what I did and let me tell you: it's fantastic. First of all, when I opened the jar, the aroma was like a melted chocolate bar. I made a cup of Celestial Seasonings India Spice Chai and stirred in a half tablespoon of the honey. Mmm, mmm! It was spicy and chocolatey and warm. Not like hot chocolate chocolatey, but more like, I don't know, kind of like how you get that chocolate taste in mole sauce. It's there, but it's not in your face.

I have no idea what the jar says, but whenever I see it, I think I should change my name to Coko Ladou.

One Perfect Piece

In an effort to actually try and kick the Baron's butt in the weight loss arena this year, I've decided to try something new. It's called One Perfect Piece. Here's the deal: instead of eating average, normal candy all the time, I'm going to savor one perfect piece once a week. (Well, in this case, it was two, but they were small. So one big piece or two small pieces.)
Here we have a vanilla cream and a coconut cluster from the Newtown Chocolatier. The vanilla cream had a distinct texture-- not too soft and runny, not too stiff. It was almost like buttercream. It was yummy. The coconut was tasty. I've been on such a coconut kick, ever since having the Sugarbaby.
But now I've encountered a problem. Where am I supposed to get One Perfect Piece every week? I didn't stop to consider the fact that there aren't really a ton of chocolate shops around. I suppose I could order some chocolates off the Internet, but the whole purpose of this experiment was to NOT have lots of chocolate in the house. Any ideas?

Why Didn't I Think of That?

Everyone knows there's two things that kids love more than anything in this world: candy and horticulture. So it's easy to see why this "Little Sprouts Candy and Grasshead" is such a runaway hit. This was a gift from D-Sword and I have to say, it's quite a bizarre combination: a little egg-shaped creature with gummy worms in the bottom and a little nugget of seeds in the top. According to the package, you just "Open, Water, Wait and Cut" the grass when it gets long enough. FUN!

I was all set to be freaked out by this, thinking it was some sort of Made in China bioterrorism, but it turns out that it's made in Canada. The grass started growing quite quickly-- within two days. I'm considering buying a truckload of these to replace my lawn this summer.

Old Fashioned Conversation

It's that time of year again! NECCO has just announced what this year's special sayings will be on their Conversation Hearts. Going with a weather theme (because love and weather are a natural pair), here they are: “Melt My Heart,” “In A Fog,” “Chill Out,” “Cloud Nine,” “Heat Wave,” “Sun Shine,” “Get My Drift,” “Wild Life,” “Nature Lover,” and “Do Good.”

Who gets to write these? Is there one person who's the official slogan writer? Or is it a group effort, where everyone puts their ideas in a suggestion box?

What would you pick if you had to write them? Maybe a pharmaceutical theme? "You're my Prozac!" "You Make Me Feel Better Than Oxycontin" "You Make My Heart Burn."

Or maybe an election theme? "I Heart Huckabee," "OH! Obama!" "McCain? McLovin!"

What would you write?

Candy at The Office

I've been watching Season Two (or is it Three? Who knows) of The Office, and candy seems to keep coming up. In the episode where Michael closes on his new condo, Dwight goes with him and tells Michael how he grows beets on his farm. Michael responds by saying, "Beets? No one likes beets. You should grow something that people like, like candy. You should grow candy. I could really go for some candy right now."
Then, in the sexual harassment episode, they're interviewing Toby, I think, in front of the candy machine in the break room, but all of the candy is turned around so you can't see the labels. That would be pretty funny to do in real life.

Oh Bring Us Some Figgy Pudding

Did you hear the piece on NPR right before Christmas about figgy pudding? It sounded so good that we decided to try it. Basically you take bread, figs, lots of spices and gallons of rum and brandy and boil it on the stove for an hour. Yes, you boil it. Yes, it was a nightmare. Imagine a bundt pan full of cake batter sitting in a pan of water that's boiling and you're trying to keep it at the perfect temperature so the water doesn't boil over into the pan (which it does anyway). But we did it! Here it is before we unmolded it. It came out pretty easily, then we doused it in more brandy and set it aflame. Huzzah! And believe it or not, it was pretty good. It tasted like a really moist gingerbread. The only thing I questioned was, well, the figs. They have such a strange texture and frankly, I've never been able to eat a Fig Newton without thinking about what some little brat told me in grammar school: "Those are actually fly heads." Nice, huh? But it was pretty cool to actually make something that you hear about every Christmas but have no idea what it actually is. Now we know.
(P.S. Many years ago we went to a friend's wedding out in California. There were giant fruit plates on the tables, including figs which I had never seen. "What are those?" I asked. The guy next to me, whom the bride described as "the world's most bitter gay man," said, "They're figs. If you don't live in California, you won't like them." Always up for a challenge, I decided to try one, and yes, it was good, despite the fly-head thing. "I think they're good!" I said. "Oh, you'll never eat one again," said Louis, the king of bitterness. Well, HA! There you go, Louis! I did SO eat them again!)

On the Catwalk

"Candy Yum Yum, you're the dreamiest!"

More ABCs

L is for Lollipop

S is for salt licorice
W is for wine gums

Recent sighting

I went to the evil WalMart yesterday and saw New York Cheesecake Hershey Kisses. The woman working in the aisle told me they were 75 percent off, so I grabbed a bag, but then when I got up to the counter, the cashier said, "These aren't on sale, you know." Hmmm. So needless to say, I didn't get them.

2007: The Year in Review

Wow! What a year it was! I've just gone back over all the 2007 posts and it was a great time for candy.


In 2007, there were lots of new "Limited Edition" releases:

Reese's Whipps

Junior Mints Deluxe and Peppermint Crunch

Nestle Crunch Crisp

Elvis Reese's

3 Musketeers Mint

and the wildly popular Candy Corn Hershey Kisses

Then there were the exotic things, like:
Absinthe lollipops
Velveeta fudge
and real licorice root

I found out some interesting tidbits, like:

Green gummi bears are strawberry flavored
Jujyfruits are actually shaped like vegetables
and putting Mint Mentos in Diet Coke can be explosive!

There were some big moments in Candy Yum Yum history, such as:

The Sugarbaby's first actual Halloween experience
My first-ever celebration of Wombat Day
The introduction of the Baron and the von Schokolat crew
The unveiling of the Candy Yum Yum logo
and my 15 minutes of fame, when I was interviewed for a Food Network special on candy*

I discovered some new favorite things like:

Etsy.com, where you can find all sorts of groovy hand-crafted candy-themed items
Emily's chocolates, which are totally yummy and addictive
and the ultimate candy bar, the European "Fine Dark" Kit Kat

There were a few new additions to the site this year, including:

The Candy Confessional
Madame Yum Yum's Candy Horoscope
My candy-themed ABC paintings
and our fabulous advertisers!

And last, but not least, the candy event that was just too funny:
when Quinn got a yucky, old, leftover Easter bunny in his trick-or-treat bag.


It's been a great year. Thanks to all the Candy Yum Yum readers who keep me going!

*Update: I was in contact with the producer yesterday and he said the pilot is being "re-worked" to include actual visits to candy factories. I fear that this does not bode well for my chance at stardom. Oh well.

Candy Trend Watch '08

Here's a great article from the Chicago Tribune about licorice. Apparently it's going to be "THE" flavor this year.

Crazee for Cashews

A couple of weeks ago, Sue MKAFFGGF said something astute. "I never actually have a desire for peanut brittle," she said, "but whenever we have it, I can't stop eating it."

She said they had some at the fire station, and she remembered how good the stuff can be.

I totally agree. Some years ago, friends sent me a tin of chocolate-covered peanut brittle. The stuff was incredible. But I don't think I've had any since then.

But this past Christmas, I was given a tin full of Judy's homemade cashew brittle. Holy smokes. Talk about addictive. I mean, it's so freakin' yummy I have to hide it from myself. It's crunchy with just a slight chew at the end, and the cashews are sweet and salty and fabulous. The Baron tried to dip his paws into my stash o' brittle, but I caught him and allowed him a single, solitary piece. Now every night I reward myself with a piece or two. Or three. I have to get the recipe.

(Editor's note: while writing this, I suddenly remembered one of the very first jokes I told my grandmother:

"Knock, knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Cashew."

"Cashew who?"

"Gesundheit!")

Christmas, Part II

Check it out, friends-- a Candy Yum Yum T-shirt! The Ice Cube Queen was busy getting her craft on and she made matching shirts for me and the Sugarbaby. Photos of his adorableness will follow shortly.

Then we have a very groovy sparkly candy corn patch which would look great on my jean jacket if I hadn't thrown it out during the Great Move of 2007. Ah well, I'll just have to buy a new one.

And then, yes, you're seeing this right: Lightning Bugs Gummy Candy. "Grab a Bug! Light it Up!" with the enclosed "Magic Tong."
This was a gift from my nephew, D-Sword, who is currently winning big moolah in the Bahamas playing poker. I can only hope that he'll remember his favorite aunt when he hits it big. But back to the candy.
I don't know about you, but I'm just a wee bit afraid of candy that comes with instructions, especially ones that say, "Remove the battery pull tag." Um, okay, doesn't it kind of go against rational thinking to put batteries in our mouths? And then there are the cautions (because what's candy without a caution?): "Do not point light into eyes and Do not put tongs into water." But perhaps, the most frightening part of all: Made in China. Oh yes, there's a "Safety Tested" seal on the package. A rather unofficial seal.
I meant to share this goodie with the von Schokolats, because I knew the wee ones would get a kick out of it, but I totally forgot, which means that I need to be the taste tester. But alas, you'll have to wait until I'm good and liquored up before I go putting a battery-powered, glow-in-the-dark, totally safe (wink!) candy in my mouth. Stay tuned.

Marketing at its best

Mommy, why is there a Hitler snowman in the front yard?

(This ad brought to you by the von Schokolats, although it's not supposed to look anything like a former dictator. Nor is it supposed to be Charlie Chaplin. In any case, I had nothing to do with this masterpiece.)

Christmas Goodies

It was a very candylicious Christmas around here. The Ice Cube Queen sent me a whole bunch of candy-inspired goodies. First, we have the box of candy from the '70s. Check out that assortment. I was so psyched to see the Zotz. I took them with me to the movies ("Juno"-- fantastic! Go see it) and am happy to report that they're just as fizzy and delicious as I remembered. The Gobstoppers are stashed in my nightstand for emergencies.

Cheers!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
Wishing all of the Candy Yum Yum readers a sweet 2008.

And now, I begin the annual January purge/organization/diet.

First, I have 3,000 e-mails to go through in my mailbox. This is a task that I dread but I must do it.

I have a box full of miscellaneous candy that needs to be eaten or given away or baked into cookies.

I have to figure out why my on-line xylophone lessons suddenly aren't working.

I must somehow, some way clean off my desk.

And lastly, I must figure out a way to successfully lose some poundage while still maintaining this blog.

Oh, how I hate January.