Monday, April 20, 2009

Carpe Ursus

Chances are, if you get a message in your in-box with the subject: “Giant Gummy Bear on a Stick,” you’re gonna read it before the one that says “Good news from UK International Lottery!" Because really, how can you not be intrigued by a giant gummy bear -- on a stick, no less?!
So I quickly responded to the offer from Vat19 to sample their giant (“nearly 90 times larger than your average Gummy Bear!”) candy. Seems they did so well with their other flavors (cherry, blue raspberry and green apple), that they decided to add a new one: orange.
As you can see, it is quite large compared to the traditional gummy bear. (Well, fine, those actually aren't normal gummy bears; they're the Sugar Baby’s gummy bear vitamins. Knock on wood—he still thinks it’s candy, a “special treat,” not just a big old bunch of phenolic vitamins disguised as a chewy, glucosey animal.)
But back to the big bear. I will admit, the texture had me a little scared. It’s gooier and sticker than a regular gummy bear. Not as soft as a gumdrop, not as stiff as a Jujy fruit. Just kind of moist and goopy. I actually had to peel it off my counter and it did make a kind of sucking noise.
However! I was very impressed with the taste. Nice, clean orange taste. Sweet and sour, like an orange Life Saver. Even the texture was perfectly fine once I bit into it.
So there you have it. This would make a great gift for the gummy bear lover in your life. It retails for $9.99 and weighs a half pound, so it’s more expensive than just a big bag of gummies, but you can’t put a price on the fun factor. Or well, I guess you can, and that price is $9.99. Check it out at


When I received the e-mail about the giant gummy bear, I posted a status on Facebook that said,

“Ya gotta love it when someone wants to send you a giant gummi bear on a stick. I wonder just how giant it is?”

An old friend replied,
“Always unsure about feet or ears first. If you go for the ears, then they can't hear you coming for more. However if you get the feet first, they can't run away. Since this one is on a stick, it ain't runnin' fast. Go for the ears.”

That was the last time I heard from him; he passed away just a few hours later. So B., this one’s for you. I took your advice and went for the ears. And I know wherever you are, there’s a solid white chocolate bunny that’s missing his ears and his feet, 'cause you're not letting him get away.

1 comment:

JH said...

This just made me smile.