Guest Review: The Wee Von Schokolats Chew the fat Gum

I've said it before: I'm not much for gum. Mostly because I tend to lose my composure when chewing it and then I suddenly realize that I'm chomping like a cow and cracking and snapping it. Very unflattering. So when I was offered the opportunity to try some of the new flavors of Orbit gum, I hesitated. But then I thought, hey, why the heck not?! (And, I'll be frank. I've been having a bit of a bad breath problem lately. Don't know why. Just am.) So a little gum couldn't hurt.

Well, a little gum turned out to be a lot of gum, so I got the idea to have some real gum experts do the reviewing. The wee von Schokolats, Liesl (13) and Gretl (11), were given the task of tasting and reviewing an array of chewy goodness. Without further ado, here are their observations, as noted by Liesl.

While we are here at the von Schokolats' Estate, abandoned by the Baron and Baroness who have gone to Florida and left us behind, we have tried the gum that was sent to us. [Editor's note to the Department of Family Services: the wee ones weren't left to their own devices. Grammy and Grampy were there, too.] We tried many gums, but when you first bit into it, it was as hard as rock.

When we tried the Orbit Peppermint Spray we both agreed that the taste is like that of the Orbit Winter Mint gum but with a little more jazz.

The Orbit Mango Spray on the other hand, we disagree on. I believe that it has a vile taste and that it is too sour, while Gretl enjoyed the taste and dubbed it very mangoey and very sour.

The Orbit Watermelon Spring was, in my opinion, too sour to even keep in my mouth for a second. Gretl thought it tasted good, but that it tasted more like kiwi.

The Orbit Pomegranate gum has a weird smell. It almost smells like a soap that the Sugar Baby and a lot of other kids would use. Gretl believes that it taste like the gum already in stores, Strawberry Kiwi gum. I believe that it smells like a lady's deodorant and tastes like Hubba Bubba Bubble Gum that gets more sour as you chew.

The Extra Berry Smoothie Gum tastes very strong and has some sort of zing; Gretl thinks that the gum tastes like blackberry.

My favorite gum was the Orbit Peppermint Spray and my least favorite was the Orbit Pomegranate.

Gretl's favorite was the Orbit Mango Spray.

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Thank you for your reviews, girls. Now a couple more questions.

If you could invent a gum, what would it be?

If I could invent a gum it would would be called Yum-a-licious. It would taste like a dark chocolate truffle that was filled with chocolate. My gum would also be able to make huge bubbles and half of the profit would go to some sort of charity.

Gretl's gum would be called Melgo Gum. It would be minty but you would get a splash of mango every once in awhile.

Have you ever had a memorable experience involving gum?

The only experience with gum that I had is chewing it with my braces on. (For all those who don't or never had braces, this is a HUGE no no!) Gretl's experience with gum was getting in trouble after church because she swallowed her gum and Grammie got mad.

Out of the mouths of babes, dear Yumsters.

As for me ... I actually really liked the Peppermint Spray. Very minty, without stinging. It also had a nice undernote of milky vanillaness that I liked. I actually found myself craving this gum after I tried it the first time. It would most definitely be my gum of choice.

And I totally agree with Gretl that the Extra Berry Smoothie tasted like blackberry. As for the mango and watermelon, well, I can't really judge. I really don't like those flavors in much of anything. And the pomegranate? I wouldn't say ladies' deodorant. But it did have a somewhat floral nature to it.

What do you think about gum? Do you have a favorite? And how do you chew it discreetly? I'd love to hear your advice. And if any of the von Schokolats' teachers are reading, how about giving them a little extra credit this week?