Is Nothing Sacred?

The New York Times Magazine this weekend has an interview with former Disney chief Michael Eisner. Guess what? He paid $385 million to acquire Topps, the company that makes baseball cards and yes, Bazooka gum. This is what he had to say:

"Topps is a brand that's in the brain-waves of about 70 years of the American male. I can take that affinity and turn it into a sports-media company. Topps has many assets, and Bazooka has Bazooka Joe, and I could have fun making a Bazooka Joe movie."

Why is Bazooka Joe always wearing an eye patch in the mini comic strip that comes wrapped around the gum? This is what we are going to find out in the movie.

Wasn't he a bit of a delinquent? He wasn't faithful to his girlfriend, Zena, if I recall. He was not a delinquent. If he wasn't faithful to his girlfriend, by the way, he wasn't 25 years old and married with three kids. It's O.K. She'll survive. It's good for her.

I think you need to update him and make him more of a feminist. Well, maybe he will be. We haven't written it yet.

Well, this is what I have to say: Hands off the Bazooka, Mickey Mouse. It's a classic and doesn't need to be sullied by your corporate money-grubbing hands.

Update on the Jar O' Candy and Why My Sister Sucks

My sister Betsy reported back to me on the contents of the Friday candy jars she used to get from our grandparents, but she was too afraid to post on this blog. So you'll have to trust me when I relay her answer. Apparently there were rootbeer barrels and Tootsie Rolls, and she isn't sure, but thinks there might've been Bit O' Honeys and Mary Janes which, she said, she would've passed off to my mother.
She also said that Bazooka is her secret weapon. She chews it before going into meetings.
Now, because she totally sucks and won't post on this blog, I've decided I'm going to slowly give away all her candy secrets until she finally gets the nerve to stop by and say hello. Without further ado, SECRET NUMBER ONE:
She saves her Easter Peeps until they get stale; then she eats them.
Stay tuned for more secrets. Maybe I'll even turn it into a trivia contest!

Happy National Bubble Gum Day!

This morning on the radio the announcer said it's National Bubble Gum Day. Woohoo! So for all you gum chewers out there, have a bubbleriffic day. I'm not so big into gum, but I thought I'd take some time this morning to reflect on gum stories from my past. So without further ado:

The Driveway Incident: I don't remember the actual event, but apparently something big went down in my house because my father still has a note I wrote to him. It reads, "Dear Daddy, I didn't put the gum in the driveway."

Forbidden Gum: In 7th grade science class I was chewing a piece of gum, which was strictly forbidden. The teacher, Mr. Hrbek, could smell it and asked me to open my mouth. I had pushed the gum to the roof of my mouth like a retainer, so he didn't see it. After class, he saw me blow a bubble and I heard him say to Mr. Samosky, the other science teacher, "Wow, she's good." I was proud of myself.

Bubblegum machines: I was always fascinated by the white gumballs in gum machines. For some reason they reminded me of VW Beetles. To this day, whenever I see a Beetle, I think gum.

Bazooka: Bazooka= my sister Betsy.

My favorites: If you asked me as a kid what my favorite gums were, I'd say grape Bubble Yum, Razzles and cherry Bazooka. Freshen Up was good, too. It was the gum that goes "Squirt!"

What are some of your favorite gum memories?