Down South Candy Review: Taffy, Lollipops and Caribbean Jerk Chocolate

I'm not a big fan of taffy. It's one of those candies that I can easily resist, along with caramel Bulls-eyes and red licorice. But when we stopped at Smoky Mountain Candy Makers, I felt like it was my duty to at least sample some of their homemade taffy. I bought four pieces: Banana, Chocolate Peanut Butter, Butterscotch and Teaberry.
We cut them up into little pieces for everyone to try, but as is usually the case with the von Schokolats, we'd had a few beverages beforehand and my notes are minimal and cryptic. Someone thought the chocolate peanut butter tasted like a Tootsie Roll. The teaberry was compared to Icebreakers and Pepto Bismol. To me, it was less wintergreeny than Pepto and I found it to be very tasty. I thought the banana had a nice, mellow taste and the butterscotch tasted like caramel. The thing is, I really liked this taffy. It wasn't the usual waxy, overly sweet Salt Water Taffy that we have here in New England. This stuff had much more flavor and a decent chew.
I had also bought a cherry lollipop for the Sugar Baby, but in our drunken state of munchiness state of curiosity, we decided that Shirley needed to take a hammer to that bad boy so we could all taste it. It was very yummy. I have to give props to these Smoky Mountain Candy people. They really did make a homemade candy that tasted good.On the way back from dulcimer-buying and lunch at Grandma's Kitchen (where I had country-fried steak, mashed potatoes and collard greens-- oh yes, I did!), we stopped at the Beef Jerky Outlet because really, you can't not stop there. I bought some kangaroo jerky for The Baron (I seem to remember him inhaling it, but I don't know if he liked it) and some Caribbean Jerk Dark Chocolate made by the Dillsboro Chocolate Factory. Now, of course, I'm not big on the whole "let's be clever and put savory spices in our chocolate" thing, so I went into the tasting with a bad attitude. I also forgot to take a picture before the vultures got to it. The chocolate itself was actually pretty good; smooth and bitter. But the spice thing-- ick. Shirley said, "It tastes like Baker's Chocolate, only not as good," and someone else said that it tasted like Hot Cheetos/chili powder/fish. Or was that our shopping list? I don't remember. In any case, The Baron and Mr. Goodbar devoured the thing in two seconds flat. They liked it. There's a candy out there for everyone. I think there was something crazy in that chocolate, though, because before you knew it, hijinx ensued. It's always a party when there's candy involved.

Candy Shopping, Southern Style

Hallelujah! I'm back. I've been banging my head against the wall all week trying to figure out why my camera wouldn't download, so I haven't had time to post. But fear not, I've discovered the problem and I'm now able to share with you some of the fabulous (and scary) candy I encountered on our recent trip to Tennessee.
It was a family trip, with most of our time spent swimming, fishing and drinking. But one day Mr. Goodbar and I ventured out into the big city (Pigeon Forge) and did the touristy thing. That is, I bought taffy and he bought a mountain dulcimer. Enjoy the pix; details to follow.

Move Over, Octomom

This here is Octopop. He'd shake your hand, but right now he has his hands full.

Yummy Earth: Organic Candy That Tastes Good

One of the moms at the Sugar Baby's new school found out I had a blog. Not only does she have a 3-year-old, but she also just gave birth to a brand new baby just a few weeks ago. I figured if anyone needed a special treat, it was her. So I shared some of the candy love that was sent to me from Yummy Earth. I like this company, because it was created by two dads who wanted their kids to have a natural candy that tasted good. All of their products are USDA and EU Certified Organic and are gluten-free, peanut-free and tree-nut free and don't contain any type of corn syrup. And yet amazingly, their candy still tastes really, really good. Honestly!
While the gummy bears and worms may not be as bright and colorful as traditional brands, they taste really good. The other mom commented on how juicy they were. Yep, they have a nice, fresh fruit flavor with a good sweet/sour balance. What I particularly like is that these have the same dense chew as a regular gummy. Oftentimes, gummy products can be too soft or gumdrop-like. These were definitely chewy.
As for their hard candies, I tried the Roadside Root Beer drops which were just as tasty as an old-fashioned root beer barrel, only drop-shaped, which I like better since it didn't slice up my tongue. I plan on giving out their Organic Lollipops for Halloween, so if you're in the neighborhood, stop by!
I tip my hat to this company because I know a lot of parents out there who are concerned about artificial colors and flavors. These prove that you can make a great tasting candy from nature's own delicious sources.

The Russians are Coming! The Russians are Coming!

Our lovely model No-Nuts gives the White Russian a smooch.

Those wacky gents over at Lollyphile have done it again-- they've created a boozy-flavored lollipop for those of us who just can't be satisfied with a Cream Soda Dum Dum. To add to the list of Absinthe and Bourbon lollipops, they've now created a White Russian pop.
Back in the day (that would be the early '90s), White Russians were my drink of choice because really, what's better than cream and booze? But then one night, at a divey bar with the rest of my Creative Writing class, I ordered a White Russian and was told, "We ran out of vodka (?!) but I can make you one with gin." Stupidly, I agreed. Let me assure you that there's a reason there are no drinks made with gin and cream. I've never had another White Russian since.
When I heard about Lollyphile's latest creation, though, I thought it was time to revisit the past. These pops are hefty; I really can't imagine eating a whole one in one sitting. I've got to admit, the initial aroma was a bit unappetizing, more sharp than creamy. But the taste is quite similar to a White Russian: coffee, cream and the zip of vodka. No, you can't get loaded off these things. (Trust me, I asked. I was told you wouldn't get any more buzzed than if you drank a gallon of vodka marinara.)
Four pops will set you back $10 (remember, I said these are hefty; you could probably suck on one for a week) or you can go for the Boozy Mixed Six Pack for $15. A fun gift for the booze hound in your life!

In the Red: Cherry Dum Dums are the Shizz

As I've mentioned before, Dum Dums have become quite a commodity in this house; they are the ultimate potty training tool. After reaching a successful goal, the Sugar Baby stands on a step stool in the kitchen and anxiously awaits the big bag of lollipops. He looks very carefully before choosing his precious reward. The thing is, he's all about red. So all the cherry pops went first, then the bubblegum and cherry cola. "We have to get more red ones," he keeps saying. It then occurred to me to look at the Dum Dums website to see if they actually do sell single flavors in bulk. Well, they do, but only flavors that are about to be discontinued. For $5.20, you can get a box of 120 pops in buttered popcorn, pink lemonade or cherry cola. (I haven't tried the popcorn, but I really dig the pink lemonade ones.) In the meantime, the Sugar Baby will have to try the other flavors. (He actually seems to have a fondness for the coconut ones.)

The Spangler website is pretty cool. You can order the usual T-shirts and mugs, but you can also vote on your favorite future flavor. The options they're offering are: apple pie, blueberry, cranberry, french toast, honeydew, pumpkin, peach and toasted marshmallow. Personally, I'd vote for honeydew and toasted marshmallow, although pumpkin might be interesting.

D is for Dum-Dums

Great uses for Dum-Dum lollipops:
1) Cat toy. Put one on a slick surface and watch the kitty bat it around.
2) Potty training incentive. They're the perfect small treat. (That, or a single M&M).
3) Playing a miniature drum.

The Inside Scoop (From the Outside)

While I sit here with the world’s neediest cat tucked under my elbow, hundreds of candy manufacturers and buyers are partying their lights out working hard at the All Candy Expo. I’m not there because 1) I’m broke; 2) I don’t have coverage for the Sugar Baby and 3) I’m too tired to even return my library books, let alone haul my sorry butt to the airport. In any case, the kind press folks at the Expo are keeping candy bloggers in the know with daily info. So dear Yumsters, want a sneak peek into what’s coming up around the bend? Here are a few I thought were interesting.

• Jelly Belly® will have two new super fruit flavors: Barbados Cherry, an emerging super fruit high in Vitamin C, and Acai (ah-sigh-ee) Berry, an exotic Amazon rainforest fruit, in their new Superfruit Mix, which also includes other super fruits of pomegranate, blueberry and cranberry flavors. Another new flavor will be Chili Mango Jelly Belly® jelly beans which will “offer an exotic fusion of heat and sweet.” I’m not so sure about those, but then again, I don’t like mango.


• MARS Snackfood US is introducing another flavor in its PROMISES line: DOVE® Silky Smooth Milk Chocolate with Peanut Butter PROMISES®. These individually wrapped chocolates include eloquent "promise" captions inside each wrapper. (NOTE: One lucky Yumster just might find some of these in the Great Anniversary Candy Giveaway!)


• For Halloween, DOTS® Halloween Mix will include Candy Corn DOTS®, Blood Orange flavored Bat DOTS® and haunting Ghost DOTS® (Tootsie® Roll Industries). I’m psyched about these!


• And finally, DAS® Lolli lollipops have new flavor pairings: Naughty Ginger is a ginger and lemon flavored pop, Caramelini Me Happy is a salty caramel lollipop, Fab-O-Pom blends orange and pomegranate, and Man Bait is a maple bacon flavored lollipop. As I’m writing this, I’m eating one of the Fab-O-Poms. It’s got a nice balance of sweet and sour, although now that I’m getting down to the end of it, there are little pieces of fruit in it, and I’m not digging that. I prefer a totally smooth lollipop—no chunks. We’ll see how the others fare.

Today's Hot Giveaway: Lollipops For Your Hair!

Yesterday was one of those days that just seemed to have a little magic sprinkled over it. We got up early and met the Connection Family at the local breakfast hotspot. Mrs. Connection and Mr. Goodbar were mature and ordered some sort of omelette/egg/veggie things, but The Connection and I went the way of the sweet tooth. He had the Monkey Business (bananas foster pancakes) and I had the Pancake Blitz (pancakes with strawberry cream). That in itself made the day wonderful. But then ...

The Connection mentioned that a warehouse liquidator (in a somewhat unsavory part of town) was going out of business and perhaps we should take a gander. Hooray! Oh, the excitement! This is the kind of adventure I love. So we went, and it was everything I dreamed it would be: scary, exciting, somewhat filthy and bargain city! What did I get, you ask? Ghost-shaped foil cupcake liners for 10 cents a box; tons of children's books for 29 cents each; gardening gloves for 24 cents; magnetic chip clips 10 cents for a package of six; and then, dear Yumsters, I found these:




Lollipop-shaped hair sticks! Are these cool or what? I put them in the cart but then suddenly the Sugar Baby seized upon them. To make a long story short, he would not relinquish them and in fact they kept him busy the whole rest of the day. (He'd arrange them, then rearrange them. He'd carry them around in one hand like Bob Dole. He tried to figure out what I was talking about when I kept telling him, "They're pretend. Girls put them in their hair.")
I ended up making another trip back with The Connection (so we could check out the camera batteries) and I bought two more packages to raffle off here!
So two lucky winners will receive the Scunci Sweetsticks pictured up top (provided that the Sugar Baby doesn't discover them). I don't anticipate a huge response to this giveaway, so just leave a message and the first two people to respond (U.S. citizens only, please) will get these beauties. (Please be sure to leave me your e-mail so I can get in touch with you!)

Update: Thanks everyone for entering! The Sweetsticks have found new homes!

Sweet Dreams

I had this great dream last night. I was at the wedding of a friend I haven't seen since grammar school. Everyone was having fun, but the best part was that the bride and the bridesmaids were carrying bouquets of big, shiny barley lollipops. I told the bride how beautiful they were and she said that yes, they only cost $90, versus the hundreds she would've spent on flowers.

If I were to do things all over again, I'd definitely have a lollipop bouquet.

I'm Gonna Git You, Sucka

File this is the "What the ???" category. These are actual lollipops that, using some whacked-out Jetsons' technology, do something to your brain and make you do one of the following: relax, socialize, assert, meditate, overcome or focus. They're sold out right now, due to "overwhelming interest that is outstripping supply."

Pretty freaky stuff, although admittedly I'd be curious to try the "relax" flavor the next time the Sugar Baby dumps his yogurt all over the cane chairs.

"More" is Secret Code for "Cinnamon Lollipops"

Day Three in the South: I got it in my head to load the Sugar Baby and Gretl in the car and go in search of a playground. There was a state park nearby, so surely, I figured, there must be some sort of amusement to entertain them. Typically something like this would be well marked, but apparently they don't want strangers visiting their public spaces, so suffice it to say, we got a little lost. Oh sure, maybe I shouldn't have taken the dirt road versus the paved road, but the sweet Siren call of banjos seemed to be beckoning me. In any case, we eventually got back on the right track and found a wimpy playground that consisted of a slide and two swings. On the way, however, I saw this: T-Bone and Sallies BBQ Bologna Log. While I'm always on duty scouting for candy, I can also be found stringing for Hops & Chops. Let me just say this: when the wee ones and I walked in, we were apparently interrupting something important, because the people gathered around the poker table in the back stopped their drinkin' and smokin' and talkin' and stared us down. Yikes. There'd be no bologna log for us, apparently. I feared for our lives (particularly when the Sugar Baby decided to lay down on the floor and start howling), so we bought some Mello Yello and high-tailed it outta there. But I couldn't let it go. So the Baron and I ventured out the next day and I sent him into the store to do my dirty work. As I sat in the car, I noticed a poster that advertised pre-mixed Budweiser and Clamato juice. Can you think of a more heinous combination? This, too, seemed like a perfect fit for Ms. Chops' blog, so I gathered my courage and walked in. What did I find? The Baron and T-Bone having a lovely conversation about the bologna log. Unfortunately, there wasn't any to be had that day; he'd sold out early in the morning. But he explained how he takes a log of bologna, grills it, then smokes it for three to four hours. The Baron didn't quite get it. He thought it was some sort of barbecue (as in the pulled pork kind) that was somehow smashed into a bologna log. Anyhow, I couldn't find the beer/tomato juice concoction either, but at the counter there were homemade lollipops.
"One of these, please," I squeaked out.
"Go ahead, take it," said the tattooed-and-teethless but seriously nice T-Bone. Awwww, yeah, he made me feel mean and Yankeeish. I put the pop in my pocket where it got all soft and sticky in the midday heat, and later that night I unveiled it. We each took a lick (hey, we're family, what can I say?!) and decided that it was actually a darn good lollipop. It was hot cinnamon. As you can see from the picture, Mr. Goodbar was breaking the eleventh commandment: Thou shalt not covet thy spouse's candy.

Pop Trivia

I came across some interesting trivia today: the "mystery" flavor Dum Dum is actually a combination of two flavors. It's created when one flavor switches to another on the machinery. How bout that!
And here's some more info about everyone's favorite wee lollipop: in February, two new flavors were added, mango and tangerine. Sadly, chocolate, banana and coconut-pineapple will retire.

"Right, Lisa, a wonderful, magical animal." *

It's not every day that Sue MKAFFGGF and I get a press release that we can share. But it turns out that the mischievous imps who created the absinthe lollipop have a new flavor out: Maple Bacon. I haven't tried these (and frankly, that's fine with me), but it just makes me wonder: who are all these people who enjoy pork products with their sugary treats?

Well, as it turned out, a reader happened to write me looking for suggestions for hard candy with savory flavors. Her sister-in-law suffers from a condition that won't allow her to eat solids anymore, but she'd like to find some way to experience the taste of food. I wonder if these will fit the bill? In any case, you can order these unique goodies at www.lollyphile.com. In the meantime, can anyone suggest any other hard candies with savory tastes?

(*Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Ham?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Pork chops?

Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.

Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.")

Goodie bag!

Yesterday I had my family over to celebrate Henri's first birthday. (Holy cow, I can't believe it's been a year!)

I made cupcakes using the Magnolia Bakery recipe (although, I must admit, they weren't that great. The cake was a little dry and the frosting a little too sugary, but they were still good.) At the last minute, I decided to make goodie bags because the party store had such good candy and I figured I might as well start a tradition of having kick-butt candy at the H-man's birthday. So here's the rundown of the goods: Mike & Ike's, Hot Tamales, Tootsie Roll Midgies, wax vampire teeth, giant Smarties, Sugar Daddy and a whistle pop.

Props to my sister and her husband for doing the food styling.

The Nursery School Lollipop Incident

This is a picture of the atrocious stained glass I've been working on for the past few weeks. It looks like I cut the glass with my teeth, doesn't it? The reason it's pictured here is because I'd like to draw your attention to the middle triangle and the two bottom rectangles. These were originally supposed to be a different color, but I kept cutting the glass wrong and then I ran out, so I had to borrow some leftovers from the teacher. This amber color was the only one that sort of worked, but now, whenever I look at it, I'll be forever reminded of

THE NURSERY SCHOOL LOLLIPOP INCIDENT.

Join me as we journey back in time 32 years when I was attending nursery school. It was a special day because the teachers gave us lollipops-- big, round, flat lollipops, but we weren't allowed to eat them until we got home. I got a rootbeer lollipop that was the same color as the aforementioned stained glass. We went out to the courtyard to play and we all brought our lollipops. Merriment ensued and we were preoccupied; lollipops got abandoned amongst the playground equipment. One of the coveted swings was open, so I went over to it and lo and behold, there was my lollipop. Hurrah! Only, as I started to pick it up I knew something was wrong. It wasn't the rootbeer lollipop, it was an orange one. The thing was, they were so close in color, it was an honest mistake. But it was too late. Some little bratty girl saw me pick up the pop and freaked out, telling the teachers I was stealing her lollipop. And this, my friends, was when the lollipop trauma started to sink deep into the nuclei of my cells. The teachers rushed over; I stood in shocked silence. Me? Quiet little innocent ME steal her lollipop? Never. But I was too scared to say anything. I just stood there. I got reprimanded. Somehow it all worked out, but I don't remember the rest. It was just the beginning of misunderstandings and disappointments in my life. Kind of like the stained glass. I had visions of being the next Tiffany but now I know why stained glass is so expensive. It's one great big pain in the butt. So let this be a lesson to you: Never put down your lollipop. And it's worth every penny for stained glass.

Not so yummy

When I was at Brook's the other day stocking up on tissues and decongestant, I saw a display of Blow Pop Minis. I knew that Cybele had written an unfavorable review of them on Candy Blog, but since they were only .33, I thought I'd check them out for myself. Let me just say, she was spot-on with her review.
First of all, I know they're called "minis," but I just wasn't prepared for how mini they were-- about the size of a cough drop. The package contained watermelon, blue razz, green apple and cherry. I'm not a big fan of anything watermelon, except Jolly Ranchers. Usually it's too sweet of a flavor for me and that was certainly true here. The blue razz and green apple were the best, but that ain't saying much. Here's the problem: because they're so small, you can eat them quickly. So you eat the first one, sucking the candy away until you're left with a minute piece of flavorless gum that is just big enough to stick to your molars, but not really enough to chew. So you think, I'll have another piece. But now you've got a piece of hard candy on one side of your mouth and gum on the other and when they co-mingle, it's just a mess. It's best to just stick to the original Blow Pop. And that's my public service announcement for the day.