Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe I've found something that everyone can agree on: the only Jolly Rancher flavors worth having are watermelon and green apple. Am I right? Are you with me on this one? With this information in hand, get a load of this:
Years and years ago my race car-driver brother worked for the Jolly Rancher team, so I was all like, "Hey, where's my Jolly Ranchers?" So he said he had given a huge box of them to Mikey Pietrzak, one of the kids we grew up with, and he was supposed to give it to me. So I was all like, "Hey Mikey, where are the Jolly Ranchers?" so he gave the box. Only it wasn't until I got home and opened it that I realized he had gone through and taken out all the apple and watermelon, leaving me with pineapple, fire, grape and peach. YUCK! Can you even imagine? I mean, there were probably thousands of little individual Jolly Ranchers with nary a watermelon or apple in sight. Come on! It was so disappointing.
I can't remember the last time I had one of the Jolly Rancher flat sticks. (Do they even still make them??) The best part was sucking on them until they got soft enough to mold to the top of your mouth and then you could pretend you had a retainer. Mmmm, a sweet, watermelon retainer.
