Candy Fun Fun!

Mrs. Connection and I have gone out together, sans children, exactly three times in the 2 or 3 years we've known each other. Two of those times have been Costco trips. I know, I know... pathetic, right? (Although I will say that they were the two most fun Costco trips a person could have.) In any case, during one of these ventures, we stopped at Barnes & Noble and Mrs. Connection found this for the Sugar Baby: Yum Yum Crafty Fun!
I mean, seriously, how perfect is that for the kid that makes candy trees out of construction paper and cuts out photos of cupcakes from magazines? This week I brought it out so we could have some yum yum crafty fun. I will say, the kit is assembled very nicely. Each project comes in its own bag, so you don't have to go rifling through all the paper and stickers trying to figure out what goes where. The execution of the projects, however, wasn't quite as polished as the picture on the box.
Yeah, that thing on the right-- it's supposed to be a swirly lollipop. And the triangle on the left is a piece of three-layer cake.
My house is now littered with stray bits of tissue paper and stickers. But as a gift for a 4-year-old candy-obsessed boy (or a 39-year-old candy-obsessed mom), it was very fun. Not as fun as a trip to Costco the Saturday before Christmas, but still pretty amusing.

Cupcakes for Breakfast

The Sugar Baby's girlfriend turned 3 on Saturday. Just to ensure that everyone's weekend got entirely off-schedule with bouncing children on sugar highs, her parents (The Connections) made sure there was plenty-- and I mean plenty-- of goodies on hand. The party started at 9:30 a.m. with lots of juice, donuts and bagels (for the adults who pretended they weren't really scoping out the Boston Cream donuts).
The "theme," if you will, was based around this book: It's a very cute story about a girl who makes her own birthday cake using doughnuts, brownies, lollipops, berries and chocolate, but then realizes that it's a bit too much. In the end, she decides she likes the cake her mom's cake better, which has a delicate smattering of candy.
After reading the story, the kids got to decorate their own huge cupcakes (which, by the way, could have each easily fed four people) with M&M's, Mike & Ikes, gummy bears, gummy worms, jelly beans and Fruit Loops. Fun! The Sugar Baby loaded his up with gummy worms (he'd never seen them before) and M&Ms. Here's the creation of another little boy:
A good time was had by all and it only took the Sugar Baby two days to recover. This afternoon, as we were planting apple seeds, the Sugar Baby said, "Lilly had a great birthday." She certainly did. Hopefully she's recovered by now, too.

Today's Hot Giveaway: Lollipops For Your Hair!

Yesterday was one of those days that just seemed to have a little magic sprinkled over it. We got up early and met the Connection Family at the local breakfast hotspot. Mrs. Connection and Mr. Goodbar were mature and ordered some sort of omelette/egg/veggie things, but The Connection and I went the way of the sweet tooth. He had the Monkey Business (bananas foster pancakes) and I had the Pancake Blitz (pancakes with strawberry cream). That in itself made the day wonderful. But then ...

The Connection mentioned that a warehouse liquidator (in a somewhat unsavory part of town) was going out of business and perhaps we should take a gander. Hooray! Oh, the excitement! This is the kind of adventure I love. So we went, and it was everything I dreamed it would be: scary, exciting, somewhat filthy and bargain city! What did I get, you ask? Ghost-shaped foil cupcake liners for 10 cents a box; tons of children's books for 29 cents each; gardening gloves for 24 cents; magnetic chip clips 10 cents for a package of six; and then, dear Yumsters, I found these:




Lollipop-shaped hair sticks! Are these cool or what? I put them in the cart but then suddenly the Sugar Baby seized upon them. To make a long story short, he would not relinquish them and in fact they kept him busy the whole rest of the day. (He'd arrange them, then rearrange them. He'd carry them around in one hand like Bob Dole. He tried to figure out what I was talking about when I kept telling him, "They're pretend. Girls put them in their hair.")
I ended up making another trip back with The Connection (so we could check out the camera batteries) and I bought two more packages to raffle off here!
So two lucky winners will receive the Scunci Sweetsticks pictured up top (provided that the Sugar Baby doesn't discover them). I don't anticipate a huge response to this giveaway, so just leave a message and the first two people to respond (U.S. citizens only, please) will get these beauties. (Please be sure to leave me your e-mail so I can get in touch with you!)

Update: Thanks everyone for entering! The Sweetsticks have found new homes!

Got a Light?

Check out this stash from The Connection-- bubblegum cigarettes and cigars. When I was little, these things were everywhere. It was just taken for granted that, at some point during your grammar school career, you'd get a pack of these and try to fool any adults who happened to be around into thinking that you were really smoking. Too cool for school.

There were various types. There were the bubblegum kinds, pictured above, that had the added bonus of a white powder inside that looked like smoke when you'd puff out on them. Then there were the candy kind, which were super-thin sticks of stypic pencils chalky candy with red tips. And when I reached fifth grade, I had the brilliant luck to stumble upon some chocolate cigarettes that looked real and tasted delicious.

So fast-forward to today and these things are shocking, SHOCKING! Candy tobacco products? Who would ever think of such a thing! So taboo.

I always loved the bubblegum cigars the best, so I was totally psyched to rip off a hunk and give it a chew. Unfortunately, it wasn't as good as I remembered. In fact, once I got it masticated into a good, soft glob, it started tasting like the incense they burn in church at Christmastime. Not something you really want to eat.

I can't help but wonder about the fate of candy and bubblegum cigars and cigarettes. Will they be around in ten years? Will the Sugar Baby know the sly, giggly pleasure of trying to fool me into thinking he's in the backyard training to be the new Marlboro Man? Only time will tell. Perhaps I'll save one of these packages, just in case.

Hanging with The Connection: Totally Dope!

I saw The Connection this weekend and he had a few surprises up his sleeve for me. First off, an Israeli candy bar. You can't see in the horrid picture, but the wrapper shows a cow with a piece of chocolate and a fireworks-type explosion. Upon first glance, you'd think this was a piece of milk chocolate with bits of toffee in it. But then you put it in your mouth and-- taadaa! Fireworks! It's like it's filled with Pop Rocks. Suddenly these little glassy shards start popping in your mouth and in your head it sounds like sleet hitting a window. Good fun! The creepy part is that, even after you swallow the chocolate, the popping continues.

Next up, another horrid picture. But this is a gem, believe me. Here we have an excerpt from The Connection's travel journal, circa 1994. In it, he details every pound he spent on jams, boxers and tea at the Muffin Man. He also, however, rated the beers and chocolates he had, so without further ado, I give you The Connection's Pre-Blog Guide to British Sweets. (Note the ratings, from 1/2 star to three.)

Cadbury Caramel

**1/2: long sectioned bar, like Rolo, better smoother caramel, good chocolate

Nestle Lion

**: combination Kit Kat/Twix, lumpy ugly bar. If seen floating in a pool would cause a scare.

Terry's Bitz

***: very good chocolate with crunchy bits of mint crisp. Like eating the all-American mint Girl Scout cookie. Totally dope!

Nestle Secret

*1/2: Form over function, the Secret's out. This beautifully designed bar gets the chocolate engineer's award. Beautifully latticed wiring wrapped around chocolate mousse. Mousse like tough marshmallow. Disappointing.

Nestle Vice Versas

**: Oversize M&Ms thin dark shell over white chocolate and vice versa! White chocolate is great (from Switz.) but the Versa is the choc. It lacks.

Nestle Milky Bar

*: Small compact bar. Ok white choc. Basically it's mountain white.

Cadbury Timeout

1/2: They should call it quits and go to the showers. 2 bars like Twix with folded Flake chocolate between 2 wafers covered in chocolate. Almost no taste. Like eating cotton.

His last surprise will be unveiled soon. It'll be a treat for everyone!

Bark From the Doghouse

It seems that The Connection is in the doghouse.
See if you can relate:
Spouse looks up at you sheepishly, bearing a gift of some sort.
"Look!" Spouse says. "I bought you a gift! For no reason! Just because I love you!"
Suddenly, somewhere, far off in the land, alarm bells start ringing. Brrrring! Brrrrring! Whooot! Whoooot!
You know something's up.
This was the scene a few nights ago at the Connection household. Apparently, the Connection put a few Ebay bids on expensive camera lenses, not thinking he'd really win them.
HAHAHA!
Okay, ladies, raise your hand if you HAVEN'T been in this situation. Let's see, I believe the Baron's big "oops" was for an antique coin. For Mr. Goodbar, it was a car. (Oh, my bad. Make that several cars.)
In any case, Mrs. Connection benefitted from this eensy-weensy mistake-- she got a nice box of Li-Lac Chocolates.*
(This is the point in the universal conversation where Partner #1 says, "You spent money buying me something to cover up for the fact that you spent a fortune on yourself?!")
Anyhow, Mrs. Connection, being the embodiment of pure kindness and selflessness, actually saved a piece of this extreme deliciousness for me!
Now, I've heard of Li-Lac chocolates, and you have to understand-- I live a mere hour from New York City-- but I've never had any of their chocolates. Where have I been? Check out their website; you'll be drooling in no time. I particularly love this:

Li-Lac's Continental Assortment: Continental at Li-Lac
refers to our exotic selection of chocolate-covered pecans, walnuts, pistachios, filberts, almonds, cashews and macadamia nuts. Unique in the way they are made, using antique molds, the nuts are visible through the chocolate, leaving no surprises. Available in either milk or dark chocolate.

Doesn't that sound like the ultimate chocolate/nut experience?!
Back to the bark. It was good. I mean, reeeaallllllly good. Toasted almonds, dark, fragrant chocolate. Fantastic. If I gave ratings, this one would've been a 10. Or an A+. Or a Golden Pegasus with a rainbow and a peace sign and an American flag and Obama.
Kudos to Mr. Connection for knowing how to work it.
And kudos to Mrs. Connection for sharing.

*She explained that this is the gift of choice in the Connection household. "Wouldn't you much rather get a box of these chocolates than a dozen roses?" she asked me.
Well, yes, Mrs. Connection. But some of us have had to settle for smaller things, such as, oh, I don't know, a single piece of lint-encrusted licorice which, turns out, is full of lead goodness.

NASCAR Nibblies

I promised Mrs. Connection that I wouldn't let The Connection know how she stored the latest delivery in hot car for a couple of hours before giving me the goods. When she handed me the Big Mo' bar, it was in a rather liquid state. No worries, though, because it coagulated back into a fairly respectable shape, and I was able to try it with no problem.

The Dale Jr's Big Mo' is a Palmer product, which usually means "chocolate-like confection" rather than actual chocolate. In general, it's best to stay away from this stuff if you're looking for something resembling real chocolate. So, needless to say, I was a trifle hesitant to try this NASCAR-inspired goodie. The wrapper says "milk chocolate with peanut butter," and I envisioned the worst: waxy chocolate with icky filling. I was surprised, though. It wasn't terrible. I mean, no way in hell would I ever choose this over a Reese's, but at least it didn't make me gag. I suppose if I was a NASCAR fan, I'd make this my candy of choice, but well, I'm just not into that scene. Give me a Buffy candy bar, though, and I'm all over it.

Meet My Connection

I mentioned before that the Sugar Baby's future father-in-law procured for me a bag of Aero Bubbles (which I inhaled) and I hadn't even met him. I finally had the good pleasure of getting liquored up dining out with him and the future mother-in-law last weekend during a blissfully child-free evening, where The Future MIL presented me with a gem that she unearthed during a cleaning frenzy. It's a cookbook, simply titled, "Candy Cookbook." This is a brilliant little publication from the year MCMLXVI (I was absent the day we learned Roman numerals, so this could be a gift from the future for all I know) and it includes every possible date nut roll and fudge recipe you could ever want.

The first chapter is an instant draw: "Candy Favorites From First Ladies." Apparently it's a requirement that you know how to make candy if your husband is to be the president or governor. (Which begs the question, if Hilary had won, would Bill have had to put on an apron and start whipping up some peanut brittle?) Then it moves on to chapters of beaten candy, fruit candy, drop candy and, my favorite, nut confections. Take, for example, these two randomly chosen pages where you'll find the following recipes:

Brown Sugar Pralines

Buttermilk Pralines

Best Creamy Pralines

Creamy Brown Sugar Pralines

Cream Pralines

Creamy Pralines

Creamy Pralines (no, not a typo; there are two Creamy Praline recipes)

Creamy Creole Pralines

Creamy Praline Patties

Louisiana Cream Pralines

Creole Pralines

(and then, if you turn the page, Delicious Pralines, Easy Pralines, Mexican Pralines, Orange Pralines, etc., etc.)

Let me tell you, this book has it all. But perhaps the very best part is the introduction. In case you can't read it, here's what it says:

"Candy is Fun Food ...

... fun to make and fun to eat. And candy is energy food for young and old alike. The things that candy is made of-- sugar, corn syrup, molasses, honey ... butter, eggs, milk, cream ... chocolate, nuts, fruits, jams-- contain the basic proteins, carbohydrates, vitamins and minerals that children and adults need in their daily diets."

Didja get that?! CANDY IS ENERGY FOOD! Woohoo! Yes, dear reader, this is your official license to eat candy! Hey, it must be true because the Candy Cookbook says so!

So today, the future MIL came over for a playdate and she had a surprise for me-- a bag of chocolate Skittles. "The Connection found these at the train station on his way home," she said. "I asked him if he tried them and he said, "Oh no, they're for Ms. Yum Yum," causing her to wonder what he might've had as his afterwork commute snack. I'm quite sure it was a banana or perhaps a bottle of water and some celery sticks. I haven't tried the Skittles yet. I'm going to wait until No-Nuts gets home from work so I can get her opinion, too.