Halloween 2014: The Recap

Remember this little guy?

Well, he has now reached the milestone of going to the orthodontist. Yes, that's right. Due to brilliant planning on my part, the Sugar Baby* got expanders put in the week before Halloween. In addition to a new toothbrush, an envelope full of wax and some little tooth-pokey things, he received this.

Now, take a good look at that picture. It meant to make you feel good, like, "Hey! I can still chow down on my Halloween stash." But what you're not seeing is what people really give out. Snickers, Milky Ways, Skittles, Laffy Taffy, Airheads, Butterfingers, Starbursts, Baby Ruths ... all the good stuff that you get a ton of.
Here's a picture of this year's haul:

(Note the glaring absence of Dum Dums. This is a Halloween first.) The doctor promised that he'd give kids $2 a pound for any Halloween candy they brought into him. At first, the Sour Patch Kid was excited and devised a plan to spend his new-found riches on a video game. Then he realized that he would probably max out at $2.50 and couldn't be bothered to bag it all up. It's now sitting in my cupboard where it will remain until next Halloween.

As per the annual Laws of Halloween, we started off with an early visit to Father John. This year we were his first visitors. Somehow the SPK managed to score three full-size bars.

I, on the other hand, was treated to a fantastic bag full of "breakfast," as Father John explained. It was Jacques Torres' chocolate-covered corn flakes and Cheerios. (No picture because I shoved those babies into my gaping maw the next day). Then it was over to Grandma and Pop Pop's before joining up with a wild band of about ten other eight-year-old boys.
Alex the Super Shopper promptly sent me a picture of her son's haul, and it was alarmingly mainstream, as well. No shampoo bottle this year. (Read all about that here.) Thank goodness, though, that my friend Susan sent a picture of something awesome from her daughter's trick-or-treat bag:

 

 

So there you have it. Halloween 2014 was certainly a success in that we didn't get a snowstorm or a hurricane and the Sour Patch Kid managed to score enough orthodontist-approved candies to keep himself happy for a week.

*In addition to being old enough to go to the orthodontist, he is also now old enough to know about this blog and the fact that he has been called the Sugar Baby for eight years. He is not happy about this and so, to respect his wishes, from now on he shall be called the Sour Patch Kid. *Sniff.*

Halloween 2013: the analysis

It's time for the official analysis of Halloween 2013. As you may know, my friend Alex always sends This year, they split up and went to two different neighborhoods. First, one batch with an alarming absence of Reese's. What?! That's really quite disturbing.

The second haul is so mainstream, I can't stand it. What was up with Halloween this year?

There's something important to be learned from these Halloween hauls, but I'm not quite sure what it is. Perhaps since it was the first Halloween we've had in two years, people were all about giving the "top" candies. I just fear the day when all the kids get are just Snickers and Skittles and they don't get to experience the joy of the random Necco wafers or bubble bath bottle.

Halloween is almost here!

The countdown has begun! Halloween is almost here and the excitement is mounting. This week, Father John sent me this link, which I thought was fantastic, although flawed: The Definitive Guide to Trading Halloween Candy. I mean, seriously, there's no way a Fifth Avenue beats out a 100 Grand.
On the homefront, the Sugar Baby will be going as the Grim Reaper. This is the first year that he is A) dressing as something not cute or interesting; B) is wearing a mask; and C) is more interested in scaring people than the actual candy part. I know this is a totally normal stage, but I must admit, I'm sad. Doesn't he realize that going as a mushroom or The World will garner him more Snickers than a stupid store-bought costume? The Sugar Baby, back in the days when he didn't even know that the Almond Joy he was holding would become part of the Mommy Tax that night.

Spice season

You've got to be cautious when you combine chocolate with fall flavors. I love the traditional brown spices: cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, ginger. When they're blended together, they create a magical taste. But when you add chocolate, things can go south very quickly. With that thinking in mind, I was hesitant to try the new Pumpkin Spice m&m's that are out on the shelves now. I figured if I didn't like them, I could always stick them in a candy dish at work. I'm happy to report, however, that they were a big hit with the Sugar Baby. These are milk chocolate m&m's with pumpkin spices. The flavors are subtle enough so that they don't scream "SPICE!" They're more like milk chocolate m&m's with a little pizzazz. Were these my favorite? No, but I wouldn't turn them away, either.

A less successful example of chocolate and spice can be tasted in the new Starbucks Chocolate Chai Tea Latte. I thought, "Yum! I love chai, and I love chocolate!" Yeah, well, turns out they aren't exactly a match made in heaven. The spices are too off balance here. If I had to guess, I'd say the nutmeg and the chocolate are fighting against each other. I'll stick to the regular chai next time.

Halloween 2012: Trick.

Here's the deal. I've tried to write a post about Halloween about three times now and I just couldn't do it. In the past, Halloween has been fodder for dozens of posts. This blog practically lives on the big three candy holidays: Halloween, Valentine's Day and Easter. But things are kooky here in the Northeast. Last year, we had a hurricane and then a snow storm. This year ... same thing. Apparently Mother Nature loves repetition. Last year trick-or-treating was postponed, but we ignored the First Selectman's mandate and went out anyway. This year, that was impossible, as most of the town was without power and trees and power lines made it too dangerous. In fact, on Halloween, I found myself going to visit my parents to see how they were doing without power. On the way there, I passed their church, which, as you may remember, is our traditional Stop #1 on the great trick-or-treat circuit. (You can get the whole background here.)
As I drove past, I noticed that there were candles lit in the windows of the rectory. I knew I had to stop. I pulled over, jumped over some fallen branches and knocked on the door. I could see Father John's big basket o' candy all set up for any potential ghosts and goblins that might come knocking.
"I'm so glad to see you!" he said. Even though I didn't have the Sugar Baby in tow, I HAD to fulfill the annual ritual. Fr. John didn't seem too hopeful about getting any trick-or-treaters that night, but I was happy to see that he had enough hope to have the candy basket stocked.

As it turned out, he had some special candy for the Sugar Baby. He'd been to Salem recently, and got these awesome chocolate rats and witches. I love the label: "Bag o' Salem Witches."

 

Trick-or-Treating in his town should be happening right now as I type, a week and a half after actual Halloween. As much as I love the holiday, it's just way too weird to celebrate it this late in the game. I hope Fr. John meets his goal of over 200 visitors, but I'm not too optimistic.

More tricks

Here's the Halloween update. Not only is the hurricane hitting as I type, but I also have the flu. Things are not looking good for Wednesday. School has already been cancelled for tomorrow and, if last year is any indication, it will be closed all week. "Well," you say, "at least you're holed up in the house with lots of Halloween candy!"
Wrong.
In an act of sheer stupidity, this was the year I decided to buy candy I don't like, so I wouldn't eat it all. (Not that there's really any candy I wouldn't eat, but a bag of Reese's would disappear a lot faster than a bag of those peanut butter molasses chews.)
So now I'm stuck with a bag of Starburst and these (which I thought were very cool, for the record.) Necco Candy Buttons in orange and grape flavors.

Why is this posting upside down? I don't have the energy to fix it.

I've never seen individual packages of candy dots and I thought they'd be fun to dole out to trick or treaters. Hopefully we'll be having a make-up day because I'm not eating a whole bag of these things.

Ominous signs

Are you kidding me? Is this some sort of cruel joke? Once again, New England is the target for some heinous weather. Due to power outages and downed trees, Halloween was officially cancelled in my town. It was truly the scariest Halloween ever.
But now the weatherman is saying that Hurricane Sandy will be arriving here on Monday. The First Selectman of my town has ALREADY declared a state of emergency. I should've known something like this was going to happen as soon as I took my Halloween cookies out of the oven:

Scary, right? I followed the directions and put the candy corns on before they went in the oven. Unfortunately, they melted into a molten mess. (I will say, however, that the texture was pretty cool. I might want to experiment with putting candy corns into other baked goods.) For the second batch, I put the candy corns on AFTER, and they came out better, although Mr. Goodbar said they were the creepiest cookies he'd ever seen.

Candy Corn M&M's

I rarely go to Shop Rite, just because it's not the closest grocery store. But the other day, I felt like I was being drawn there, so I went. Guess what was pulling me there? Candy Corn M&M's! I heard about these last year, but couldn't find them anywhere, so of course I grabbed them this year.
The M&M's are the large size, like the peanut butter ones. They are white, orange and yellow and the inside is candy corn-flavored white chocolate. I didn't really think I'd like them, as I'm not a big fan of white chocolate and the idea of candy corn flavor kind of freaked me out. I have to say, though, they're really good. The flavor is subtle. There are times when I was eating them that I really had to concentrate to get the candy corn flavor instead of just generic white chocolate sweetness. I like the ratio of crunchy shell to creamy insides. I wonder what a regular plain M&M would taste like if it was in this bigger form. I think I would love those, but you never know. In any case, I definitely recommend these to get you in the fall spirit.

Thank God it's over with

As you may recall, last year my friend Alexandra found some interesting stuff in her kids' trick-or-treat bags. My favorite is the empty Scooby Doo bubble bath bottle. This year was nary so interesting. Lots of political stuff, and a Kicking Daisies CD, but the rest was all pretty mainstream. They did score quite a few full-sized bars, though.

So that about does it for Halloween 2011: The Horror Story.

How did your Halloween stack up?

Halloween 2011: You can't keep us down

You didn't really think we'd stay in on Halloween, did you? Despite the odds, we decided we were going to keep up with tradition and do all of our annual Halloween activities. So after the downtown trick-or-treat, it was off to my parents' house to show off the mummy costume (and score a Russell Stover Chocolate Marshmallow Pumpkin). Then, onto the church to visit Father John!

As you may recall, last year 186 kids visited the church to get a full-sized candy bar. Every year, Father John tries to beat the previous year's record. He said he was hopeful that this year would be good, since school was closed and people were anxious to get out of the house. But since it was weird with the snow and all, it was questionable whether the turnout would be good or not.

Just a side comment, here. Father John does a great job of setting the scene in the rectory. There were candles burning and Gregorian chant playing on the stereo. He had cheese and crackers set out for the adults, a really cool frame that displayed old timey candy bags and-- you've gotta love this-- a table decorated with spooky stuff, including a copy of "The Exorcist." Now that is funny!

Of course, the focus of it all was the big basket filled with not just full-sized candy bars, but KING sized. Nice, right? He let the Sugar Baby take not one, not two, but THREE candy bars. He picked a Hershey bar, a Snickers and a bag of Skittles.
We talked a bit and then it was back in the car to drive home and contemplate what the night would bring. The Sugar Baby took a brief snooze in the car after all the exercise and candy.

By the time 6 o'clock rolled around, I was wiped out, but I saw some of the neighbors put their lights on. People were posted frantically on Facebook: "Are you going out tonight?" "Who's trick-or-treating?" "You can't cancel Halloween!"
So Mr. Goodbar and the Sugar Baby headed out into the vast unknown while I stayed behind to hand out full-sized Twix. One gaggle of teenagers nearly wiped out my full supply.
An hour later, the crew returned with a bucket brimming with candy. We dumped it out and began the ritual sorting.
As you can see, there wasn't anything particularly unusual, except for the Toy Story notebook. What was surprising was the absence of certain candies. No Smarties! No Necco Wafers! No pennies! The selection was kind of disappointing, really. I mean, it's great that he got such an abundance of top-tier candy bars, but it's nice to have a little variety.

All in all, it was the weirdest Halloween ever. Some kids went out, others waited until the rescheduled Halloween that took place this past Saturday. (Friends are reporting that it was just creepy. Desolate streets and hardly a spooky Halloween atmosphere.) Let's hope the rescheduling of Halloween never happens again.

And oh, as far as Father John, his Halloween wish came true! He had 262 trick-or-treaters and he had to run down to the corner gas station to get more candy. Now that's some Halloween spirit!

Scariest Halloween Ever.

Q: Why did the vampire love this year's Halloween?
A: Because it was a giant suckfest.

I began writing a detailed post about all of the elements that went into making this the most bizarre Halloween ever, but it was too painful to relive. So here's what you need to know:
1) Snow in New England.
2) School is cancelled.
3) The First Selectman cancels Halloween and reschedules it for this-coming Saturday night.
4) The vertigo which I've been experiencing for 3 months now takes a wicked turn for the worse.
and then this:

I took the Sugar Baby to my parents' town for the afternoon trick-or-treat in the downtown shopping area. On the green, all the local politicians and police set up booths where they give out candy and fliers. There was one table being manned by some grouchy old men offering up lollipops. The Sugar Baby took one just as another kid grabbed a handful, so one of the old men said loudly, "Just take one!" This freaked the Sugar Baby out, so he reached into his bucket and pulled out a Butterfinger, which he tossed back into their pile of low-rent lollipops. Oh the horror! A bad trade! I couldn't really reach back into the pile and pull out the Butterfinger, so we just moved on. But it was that kind of day.

Tired, dizzy and hungry, we took a short break where I had some soup and the Sugar Baby began sorting his loot, including the two glow-in-the-dark bracelets with politicians' names on them. (Who thought of this brilliant idea? Don't they know these are going straight into the landfill?)
So how did the rest of our Halloween go? Did we follow the rules and stay in on Halloween night, or were we rebels, hitting the streets as soon as the street lights went on? Stay tuned ...

Happy ... Halloween?

Yep, this is the worst trick of all. You may have heard that New England was walloped with a storm last night. Giant, wet flakes of snow fell from the sky while the winds blew and tree branches snapped off. It was all kind of crazy. The Sugar Baby of course thought this was great, but in the back of my mind all day I just kept thinking, "What about trick-or-treating?" Let me tell you, nothing kills the candy-begging mood like the crunch of wet, cold snow under your feet. Fortunately, it warmed up pretty well today and the streets are pretty clear. School has already been canceled for tomorrow, but as far as I'm concerned, Halloween is ON!

No costume, no candy

This time of year, lots of candy statistics get tossed around. 35 million pounds of candy corn will be made this year. About one pound will be consumed in my house, one corn per day. The folks at Twix sent along some interesting tidbits to ponder.

According to their research, women prefer chewy treats more than men do (42 percent to 33 percent), while more men than women seek out treats with a crunch (33 percent to 23 percent). I don't know if I agree with that, but I did take a particular interest in the next statistic:

Nearly 7 out of 10 adults (69 percent) ages 18 to 24, and half of adults ages 25 to 34 said they would do it if they could. Trick-or-treating, that is. The only thing holding them back is dirty looks from the neighbors.

As I mentioned on my interview with The Sporkful, I love taking the Sugar Baby trick-or-treating. Heck, yes, I dressed him up when he was just a baby and strolled him around town looking for treats. I'm shameless that way, and so are many other parents. Sue me. 

I did mention, however, that I have a *special* bucket of leftover crap treats that I use for teenagers who call a baseball cap a costume. I freely admit that I've been known to clean out the pantry and collect all the granola bars, oatmeal packets, tea bags and raisin boxes that aren't going to be eaten and dole those out. I always thought that I was against trick-or-treating once you reached a certain age, say 17 or so. But the guys at The Sporkful made me realize that I'm not really an ageist, I'm a costumist. This was pretty revelatory to me. I feel empowered. So if you've got a costume, stop by my house on Halloween, even if you're 45 and don't have a kid in tow. I'll be giving out full-size Twix.

The Sporkful talks Halloween candy

Hey Yumsters, I have a particularly sweet treat for you today. I had the honor of being a guest on The Sporkful, which, if you don't already know, is perhaps the most brilliant food podcast in existence. I mean, when you can do a whole show about ice and leave your audience wanting for more, you know you're doing something right.
Listen to it here.  (Episode 94: Halloween 2011).
This time, the hosts Dan Pashman and Mark Garrison dove deep into the multi-faceted world of Halloween candy. Their first guest, Gabe, wrote a manifesto about Halloween candy. I can't say I agree with all his proclamations, but he appears to be a kindred spirit. I talked about the correct way to eat a Kit Kat (or shall I say, the preferred method) and I name the most overrated and underrated Halloween candies. Check it out and then come back here later. I'm going to explain what happened after the show was taped and the incident that filled me with extreme shock and horror. You won't want to miss it.

Candy Yum Yum in the news!

Here's a fun little piece from the folks over at Women's World magazine. Candy Yum Yum weighed in with Halloween Ghost Dots. I keep reading about Candy Corn-flavored and Pumpkin Spice-flavored M&M's (at Walmart and Target, respectively), but I haven't actually seen them yet. Have you tried them? Send me a note and let me know what you think!

Free birthday goods

It used to be that Denny's was the place to go for a free birthday meal. Nowadays, things are different and a lot more places offer free goodies. Because I'm cheap New Englandy and frugal, I recently spent my birthday graciously accepting all the gratis goods coming my way. Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts both offer free drinks. (Sign up on their websites and they'll send you a postcard for a free beverage). I took the opportunity to try the Salted Caramel Mocha at Starbucks. I'm not usually much for flavored coffee beverages, but it just sounded yummy, so why not?
No dramatic lead-in here: it was so good. The roasty taste of the espresso was balanced by the sweet buttery deliciousness of the caramel. Since it was my birthday, I opted for the whipped cream, which was topped with sticky caramel drizzle and-- you know it's coming-- a shake of sea salt. "Caffeine and salt?" you cry. "That's a heart attack in a cup!" Well, yes, it may be, but it was also pure yummy decadence. For a once-a-year splurge, it was worth every penny. Or in this case, it was TOTALLY worth the free coupon.
Next on the birthday party free goods roadtrip was a stop at Panera, which yielded a free pastry (in this case, a brownie) which was handed over to the Sugar Baby.

Since I was already at the mall, I headed over to the Godiva store where I cashed in on my monthly free chocolate. I chose a pumpkin cheesecake truffle. Had I been thinking more clearly, I would've chosen the pumpkin spice truffle, which has a chocolate shell, as opposed to the one with the white chocolate (or, in this case, orange-colored chocolate) shell. The filling was half pumpkiny cream and half cream cheesey cream. It was pretty tasty, but also pretty sweet. One was definitely sufficient to meet my daily recommended truffle intake.
I still have yet to cash in on my free bubble bath from Sephora and hibachi dinner at the local Japanese place. And I got a nice e-card from Mini Cooper, but alas, no free car.

Repost from Halloween 2010: Oh the Horror!

Editor's note: In doing some Halloween-based research, I came across this post from last year that I'd forgotten all about. I won't give away the ending, because it's just THAT GOOD. I thought I'd post it again to get everyone in the proper scary mood.

A new Halloween tradition has started around here. It's called, "I can't wait to get the pictures of Alexandra's trick-or-treat haul." As you might remember, last year Alex's son came home with a big bagful of candy and ... a chocolate Easter bunny. I thought she'd get a kick out of our candy cane and nasty expired candy this year, but oh no, she has us beat again. And in a big way. Example Number One: Candy from her older son's bag. Let's see, there's some nice full-size bars there, Oreos, lots of Butterfingers and M&M's. But then, let's take a closer look. To the far left is a holiday foam kit to make a skeleton. Well that's cool. Up top, there's an "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader" toy that appears to be from a Wendy's kids' meal. Okay, a little weird, but within the boundaries of acceptability. There's a Capri Sun. Um, hello? A bag of juice mixed in with all sorts of candy and other wackiness? Seems like a recipe for disaster. Fortunately it didn't explode. And then we have the coupon for one free week of karate (lame) and, in a bold and daring move that makes Charlie Brown's trick-or-treat rocks look almost tempting, we have a postcard from a mortgage broker. It says something about locking in a "Spooktacular" rate on your mortgage. Maybe next year I'll hand out magazine subscription postcards if this is the way things are headed. But wait! Just when you think you've seen it all, let's move over to the younger boy's Halloween haul. He's the same age as the Sugar Baby, which is a terribly cute stage and, according to my research, is likely to get you more candy. So here we have lots of full-sized bars-- nice score! There's a Skippyjon Jones book. Well, nothing wrong with that, I suppose, and a Where's Waldo toy (another kids' meal, perhaps?) There's something to the right that looks like a baby teether and some various other little toys. But, ladies and gentlemen, the piece de resistance, or perhaps more accurately, the coup de grace, the Scooby Doo. Cute, right? A big plastic Scooby Doo toy-- who wouldn't want one? Well, no one would considering it's an EMPTY BUBBLE BATH BOTTLE! Yes, dear Yumsters, you read that right. A used toiletry item.
So let's consider the questions these two candy hauls bring up.
1) Where in the heck is Alexandra trick-or-treating? (I asked her and strangely enough, it was in her parents' neighborhood which is quite lovely and not at all the type of of place you'd expect to find anything worse than a roll of Necco wafers.)
2) Where are people getting this stuff? Do they save all their kids' meal toys and plastic crap all year just to give out at Halloween?
3) Do they think kids are going to be excited to find an empty bubble bath bottle in their bags?
4) How can *I* lock in a Spooktacular rate on my mortgage?
So dear Yumsters, you know I want to hear from you now. What special goodies did your kids get in their bags this year? Don't be shy. We want to know! And if anyone can beat the Scooby Doo bottle, I'll send you a special surprise.

Russell Stover pumpkins: Made in the U.S.A.

I've been sorely lacking in my Halloween coverage this year. It's already the second week of October, for gosh golly sakes. What is wrong with me? At this point in time over the past few years, I'd already planned out my Halloween schedule/trick-or-treating route, jamming in as many candy-filled activities into 24 hours as I possibly could. I should be in training with the Sugar Baby right now, loading him up with carbs and doing practice runs throughout the neighborhood. But a kink has been thrown into the works. See, I've been dealing with a strange bout of vertigo since August. Basically, I feel like I'm standing on a boat, walking on pillows, after drinking a few too many rum punches. Now, if this were truly the case, that would be a good thing. Unfortunately it's just the feeling, minus the boat and the booze. Hence, I'm not sure what Halloween is going to bring this year. But I have hope that all will be okay by the time October 31st rolls around, at which time I will have some serious trick-or-treating to do.
In the meantime, I'm starting to slowly get back into the groove. With that, I present to you this year's initial Halloween offerings: Russell Stover Milk Chocolate Pumpkin and Caramel Mini Pumpkin. 

I bought these both for the Sugar Baby and he gave them both a thumbs up. I was drawn to them because a) they're festive and b) the wrapper specifically points out that the chocolate is Made in America, along with a little American flag. I'm big on supporting American businesses, and even more so when it entails food. I didn't get to try the milk chocolate pumpkin, but the caramel ones came in a bag of six or so and were on sale at Stop & Shop for $1. I have to say, I was mighty impressed with these. I'd go as far to say as these present the perfect caramel consistency. Not too soft, not too hard and chewy. The caramel is just sticky enough to have bite without fear of ripping your fillings out.

 I've been checking out the Halloween candy at different stores and I have to say that this year seems pretty lackluster. There aren't too many new products out there. What do you think? Have you seen anything that demands attention?

John & Kira's Chocolates: A Heavenly Gift

An attractive half-empty box because I couldn't control myself

I love that Father John and I have this Halloween tradition. The Sugar Baby grabs a full-sized Snickers out of the basket (which has mysteriously disappeared; I don't know where it could have gone) and I give Fr. John some of the latest candy that I've found. Then he hands me something super-fantastic, something that blows me out of the water and puts my puny candy to shame. I'll comfort myself by thinking he has divine intervention on his side.
In any case, this is what he gave me this year:
John & Kira's chocolates.
The box contained an assortment of beautifully glossy, thin squares. An accompanying taste guide tells you which piece is which flavor by the design on top. Of course, I didn't realize that until after I had my first piece.
For my second piece, I chose the Drew Elementary Garden Mint. The description: "fresh cream infused with just-picked garden mint from Urban School Garden programs."
Very cool. It turns out these chocolates are made with ingredients from small farms, fair-trade cooperatives and, like the mint, school gardens.
I expected to bite into this and get a big bang of mint, like every other mint chocolate out there. When you have a mint chocolate, you know it.
But this was different. My first thought was, "Oh, I took the wrong chocolate." But then I double-checked and yes, the # on top of the chocolate denoted the mint. So I took another nibble and aha! The mint was there, it was just--get this--subtle! It wasn't "MINT!!!!!" It was *mint*. The main flavor was dark chocolate, but lingering beneath the surface was the taste of real mint, like peppermint tea. Then I tried the raspberry, expecting it to be a big sour burst of fruit. Instead it was just a light, fresh berry taste. These chocolates are a great example of artificial vs. natural flavor. We're so used to artificial "BIG" flavor that it's surprising when we actually experience the real thing.
I used these chocolates as incentive to write my daily 1,667 words for NaNoWriMo. Of course, Mr. Goodbar sniffed them out and had to try them, too. I hate sharing my chocolate, but in the spirit of all this good will, I figured I should just bite my tongue and let him have a taste.

Oh the Horror! Tricks, Not Treats, Dominate This Year's Halloween Haul

A new Halloween tradition has started around here. It's called, "I can't wait to get the pictures of Alexandra's trick-or-treat haul." As you might remember, last year Alex's son came home with a big bagful of candy and ... a chocolate Easter bunny. I thought she'd get a kick out of our candy cane and nasty expired candy this year, but oh no, she has us beat again. And in a big way. Example Number One: Candy from her older son's bag. Let's see, there's some nice full-size bars there, Oreos, lots of Butterfingers and M&M's. But then, let's take a closer look. To the far left is a holiday foam kit to make a skeleton. Well that's cool. Up top, there's an "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader" toy that appears to be from a Wendy's kids' meal. Okay, a little weird, but within the boundaries of acceptability. There's a Capri Sun. Um, hello? A bag of juice mixed in with all sorts of candy and other wackiness? Seems like a recipe for disaster. Fortunately it didn't explode. And then we have the coupon for one free week of karate (lame) and, in a bold and daring move that makes Charlie Brown's trick-or-treat rocks look almost tempting, we have a postcard from a mortgage broker. It says something about locking in a "Spooktacular" rate on your mortgage. Maybe next year I'll hand out magazine subscription postcards if this is the way things are headed. But wait! Just when you think you've seen it all, let's move over to the younger boy's Halloween haul. He's the same age as the Sugar Baby, which is a terribly cute stage and, according to my research, is likely to get you more candy. So here we have lots of full-sized bars-- nice score! There's a Skippyjon Jones book. Well, nothing wrong with that, I suppose, and a Where's Waldo toy (another kids' meal, perhaps?) There's something to the right that looks like a baby teether and some various other little toys. But, ladies and gentlemen, the piece de resistance, or perhaps more accurately, the coup de grace, the Scooby Doo. Cute, right? A big plastic Scooby Doo toy-- who wouldn't want one? Well, no one would considering it's an EMPTY BUBBLE BATH BOTTLE! Yes, dear Yumsters, you read that right. A used toiletry item.
So let's consider the questions these two candy hauls bring up.
1) Where in the heck is Alexandra trick-or-treating? (I asked her and strangely enough, it was in her parents' neighborhood which is quite lovely and not at all the type of of place you'd expect to find anything worse than a roll of Necco wafers.)
2) Where are people getting this stuff? Do they save all their kids' meal toys and plastic crap all year just to give out at Halloween?
3) Do they think kids are going to be excited to find an empty bubble bath bottle in their bags?
4) How can *I* lock in a Spooktacular rate on my mortgage?
So dear Yumsters, you know I want to hear from you now. What special goodies did your kids get in their bags this year? Don't be shy. We want to know! And if anyone can beat the Scooby Doo bottle, I'll send you a special surprise.