M&M's Premiums: Thumbs Down from the Baron

This just in from the Baron:

I don't think anyone in our house liked them. They were not as good as a Peppermint Patty and they were chewy like Skittles. They stayed on the counter for a week and finally I threw them out. Yes I threw away candy. For the price you pay, why not buy Peppermint Patties. Definitely did not get a thumbs up from us.

Holy cow! What's going on up there? Has someone taken the Baron's temperature? Is he all right? They weren't that bad! Certainly not as bad as Rainbow Twizzlers!

Getting Exotic With the Baron

What do you get the guy who has everything (including the world's best sister-in-law)? Why, fancy-schmancy chocolate, of course! Since the Baron already belongs to the wino-of-the-month club, I thought he'd enjoy trying some unusual candy bars from Vosges. So I ordered him the "library of mini exotic candy bars," even though I knew I'd have to explain to him what a library is. I figured at the very least he'd feel the love from the Red Fire Bar: Mexican ancho & chipotle chilies, Ceylon cinnamon and dark chocolate.

The Baroness, being the ever-thoughtful Aries that she is, told him to wait until I came to visit before he shoved them all into his gaping maw so I could at least try a little nibble. So last night, we put on our tasting hats and went to town.

Now, as I've said before, I'm not much for combining chocolate with savory flavors. I wasn't thrilled with the Red Fire Bar and the Oaxaca Bar (guajillo & pastilla chillies with Tanzanian bittersweet chocolate) made my mouth burn and my stomach hurt. But I did quite like the Woolloomooloo Bar (roasted and salted macadamia nuts, Indonesian coconut, hemp seeds and deep milk chocolate) and I really, really liked the Barcelona Bar (hickory smoked almonds, grey sea salt and deep milk chocolate).

But the funny thing is, after we compared notes on all the various bars, the Baroness pulled out the remains of a Lindt Excellence Intense Mint Dark bar that she bought at Target ($3 for a 3.5 oz bar)-- and I liked it more than any of the mini exotic bars ($2.50 per .5 oz bar). I'm not sure if that means that I simply have plebian tastes, but who cares. Next year, I'm going to take the Baron to Target and let him go hog wild in the candy aisle.

A Politically Incorrect Wee Blessing from the Baron

God Bless your name sake; you brought Christianity to the Green Isle. And now this celebration, brings us green beer, the endless hunt for the ideal four leaf clover and of course keeping our eyes open for a drunk leprechaun who might have lost his pot of gold. A Merry Saint Patti's Day to all. I plan on wearing this out with some customers Monday night.
P.S. - Sorry for any politically incorrect wording or viewpoints that might offend the Witchen/Pagan readers in Candy Yum Yum. I will send Halloween Pictures to show my equal support of all religious holidays.

Love Letter From the Baron, Part II

So this appeared in my mailbox today. It's one of those cards that, when you open it, is so loud that it wakes the Sugar Baby up from his peaceful slumber.
Anyhow, here's the transcript:

(Remember, Valentine's Day is all about the love ...)

"... the love of chocolate!
Marshmallow!
Caramel!
Marshmallow!
Peanut butter!
Little sprinkly things!
So delicious!
Bring on the nougat!
So delicious!
I love you, Valentine's candy!
I love you candy!"

It's quite funny, actually, and it kept the Sugar Baby mezmerized for quite a long time. The best part, however, is how he signed it. First, "From your Secret Admirer," and then, because I never would've guessed it was from him despite the return address and the stamp featuring a photo of the Sugar Baby, he gave the mystery away: "aka, The Baron."

A love letter from the Baron

I just got a missive from the Baron about my post on the Bread & Chocolate candy bar. Here's what he had to say:


I just wanted to remind Candy Yum Yum CFO and CEO that I think little Gretel von Schokolat brought a chocolate/bread combination back from the 2007 Old World tour and the creative artisans at Candy Yum Yum took a good idea and made a great one by Americanizing it to become a hot grilled chocolate sandwich at the Connecticut branch.

Your avid fan still believes chocolate and bread can work.


Ah, how right he is! The Baron speaks the truth. And speaking of which, the von Schokolats will be arriving next week for the first-ever Winter Candy Camp. I have two very exciting words: Chocolate Fountain. And plans for a new, exciting Candy Yum Yum creation. Stay tuned!

A Call From the Baron

The Baron called at 8:30 this morning. I panicked when I saw his number on the caller I.D. Why was he calling so early? (Of course, I'd been up several hours at that point, but for the rest of the non-toddler-scheduled population, that's still early.) What happened? Is someone in the hospital? Quick, quick, answer the phone!
Well, it was an emergency of sorts, I suppose. He had to tell me that he was drinking a new Chocolate Cherry Diet Dr. Pepper. He explained the tasting process in detail, how he sniffed, then sipped it, swished it around to get the full flavor. He's decided he likes it, although, he said, "It's like wine. I wouldn't want to drink it all the time." Huh? What? Who doesn't want to drink wine all the time? Oh Baron, how you disappoint me. Then our phone call was cut short because he was driving through East Bumble where they don't have those fancy cell towers.

Good Work!

Here we have evidence of the Baron's unusual candy find: Butter Toffee Popcorn Candy Corn. Personally, I just don't get the whole popcorn-flavored candy trend. I know that there's a secret society of people who go nuts over Buttered Popcorn Jelly Bellies, and I just don't get it. But then again, I'm not much of a popcorn lover. Kudos to the Baron for finding these, though, even if he ended up spilling them all in the car.

Just What They Always Wanted!

Now that I've given the Baron and Baroness their Christmas presents, I can unveil one of them here. It's a painting of salted licorice fish. Up top it says "Salzige Heringe," which is the Dutch name and down below it says, "Are You Saving Those for Later Dear?" because that's what the Baroness said to the Baron when she found the hidden fish in his shirt.

The Present

I figured I'd better write about my exciting birthday present now since Alexandra just called me in a panic wanting to know if I got a baby Basset hound. No, no, that would be more of a stress-inducing gift. I was going to wait until I took a picture, but my camera/Internet connection is a bit bockety at the moment, so just use your imagination.

I returned home from a day at the spa (oh, what a life I lead!) (actually, I got a gift certificate last year and I had to use it before it expired) and there was a big, white box on my doorstep with a Halloween plate on top. I lifted the box up and got a whiff. No. It couldn't be, could it? It was! It was THE Chocolate Cake!

Sweet, wonderful June baked me a miniature version of the cake and left it for me. It even has Indian corn on top! How awesome is that? I'm going to go cut a piece in exactly eight minutes.

While I was on the phone with Alexandra, she asked if it was Indian corn or American corn on top. American corn! Hee hee. That led me to ponder out loud why they call it "corn"-- it doesn't look like corn at all. And then all of a sudden, for the first time in my entire life, I realized that it's supposed to be a corn kernel with the pointy end sticking into the cob and the round end being the actual corn. Wow. I never knew.

And speaking of candy corn, the Baron finally reared his head today after a long silence. He had this very poignant story to tell:

Candy Corns are sacred in my house. It is really the only candy that brings a smile to my face. I remember being really young and Mom telling me if you want good luck you have to bite exactly between the two color lines. If you get one color on both sides of the bite, you win great luck for the day. I have tried this for 38 years and not one successful bite. But I will keep trying until my high sugar kicks in and I stroke out.

Isn't that sweet? Although don't believe him: wave some salted licorice fish in front of his face and you're sure to get a grin.

It's a wrap

It's time to wrap up the great Euro Candy Exposition '07.

• One of my favorites of the whole lot of goodies was a Ritter Sport Quadrago Erdbeer-Joghurt. (A bite-sized chocolate bar filled with a strawberry yogurt filling.) It was a nice balance of sweet chocolate and tangy/sour strawberry yogurt. MMMM!




• Perhaps the most disturbing "candy" was the licorice sticks from Holland. These were actual pieces of licorice root--they look like any old twig you'd find on a tree-- except you chew them to get to the licoricey center. They're waaaay strong and it's just a little freaky to be gnawing on a stick.




• I really, really liked the wee little bar of Hussel Edelbitter. The chocolate was yummy and the bar was the perfect size to satisfy a craving without going overboard. It's the Fun Size for the Euro crowd.

Lastly, I shall leave you with this picture of the Baron enjoying a perfect day reading a book and eating salted licorice fish from a pile on his belly. As the day went on, his shirt crept higher and higher until the Baronness walked over and pulled it back down. When she did, there was a surprise! A lone salted fish was hiding there, waiting to be savored.

New York, New York

New York is truly a culinary wonderland. A couple of years ago I took a "sweets" tour of New York that featured Magnolia's cupcakes, Jacques Torres' chocolates and lots of other goodies. I learned my lesson on that trip; you can actually overdo chocolate in a single day in New York. So when I set out to put together a chocolate tour for the Baron, I kept it small but oh-so-sweet.

We dropped the little von Schokolats off at the American Girl Place and headed down to Union Square. First stop: ABC Carpet & Home.

I kept hearing, "Why are we going to a carpet store?"

First off, it's not really a carpet store. I mean, they do have carpets, but it's so much more. All sorts of funky, groovy stuff for your home, and then all these other little stores within the big store. That's where Chocolat Michel Cluizel is.

It's part chocolate shop, part restaurant. They offer guided tastings, from the Introductory Tasting at $35 per person (features 7 chocolates, including blended and single plantation varieties and a "superlative bonbon") to the Full Spirit Tasting (an emphasis on how chocolates pair with fine spirits ranging from Cognac and Muscat to single malt Scotch and Tequila).

The chocolates were lovely. They weren't too froofy with painted designs or gold leaf, and there weren't any of those "spice cabinet" combinations that I loathe. It was a difficult decision, but I finally got a dark bonbon for each of us, and then the Baron picked out two round, prickly things in pink and orange. I would've never chosen these so I'm glad he did. Turns out they were filled with liqueur-- mine had Grand Marnier-- and they were delicious. (Michel Cluizel is the only chocolate shop in Manhattan that's allowed to sell liquor-infused chocolates, because they have a liquor license.)

I also bought a 20 dram "vial" of cocoa nibs (the container looks like a prescription bottle-- very cute!) and a tasting box of single-origin chocolates (more on these in another post). It was pretty pricey, I must say. The individual chocolates were about $3 a piece, so this isn't chocolate to binge on.

Then it was onto Max Brenner. (I'd put the link to the website here, but every time I go to it, it takes forever and I don't want you to curse me.) I know that Max Brenner has been lambasted by the culinary community for being more of a marketer than a chef, and Brian and the Baron felt like the place was a little too Disney World, but I liked it. We were pretty hungry at this point, so the question was: do we order lunch or do we order something sweet and wonderful from the desserts menu? (They had things like peanut butter and chocolate crepes, chocolate pizza, S'mores and dip-your-own ice cream bar.) The answer: both. The Baron ordered a cup of the Mexican Hot Chocolate which came in one of their signature "hug mugs." It doesn't have a handle so you just hug it to your lips. It was pretty tasty: rich and thick with a good kick of cinnamon and peppery spice at the finish. Brian ordered a chocolate beer, which wasn't really chocolatey. More malty and dark like a Guinness. We decided to split a normal lunch and the Munchies Waffles: two waffles topped with your choice of milk, dark or white chocolate ice cream, served with crunchy chocolate balls and chocolate syrup. I would've gotten the dark chocolate, but the Baron's gentle palate dictated that we have the white. It was fabulous. I mean, what's not to love? The waffles were hot and crisp, the ice cream smooth and milky, and the sauce and crunchies gave it more texture. Deeelish! The chocolate shop had an array of individual chocolates for sale, and then boxes of different goodies and hot chocolate and such.

While we were having our feast, we got to talking to two women at the table next to us. One of them said that her grandmother, who lived to be 100, was addicted to dark chocolate. She said when they cleaned out her room at the nursing home, they found a hidden stash of Hershey's Dark. (See, it is a potent antioxidant!)

Two great tastes that don't taste great together

When I was pregnant, the only thing I could keep down was grapefruit. I think I kept the entire Florida citrus council in business that year. So the Baron thought of me when he came across this: Feodora Fio! Grapefruit-Joghurt Chocolade ("Milk and Superior Chocolate with Grapefruit Yogurt Filling.")

It's not everyday when you see a grapefruit-flavored candy, let alone one with chocolate, so it's difficult to know what to expect. Despite the fact that I love grapefruit and I love chocolate, I've decided the two aren't really meant to be put together. The chocolate was creamy and slightly bitter, and the grapefruit filling tasted just like the fruit: sour, bitter and tangy. Not something I'd try again. The Baron also picked up a pear version which we all found to be really gross. I guess there's a reason you don't see some fruits paired up with chocolate.

What's next? Black pepper gummie bears?

These, my friends, are salted licorice fish or, as I suppose the translation would be, "salted herring."

They're gross.

Not as gross as the licorice that Betsy brought me back from Amsterdam, but definitely not my kind of candy.

The Baron liked them, just a few at a time, but he said my Amsterdam licorice offered more of a surprise because the salt was incorporated into the licorice rather than dusted on. In either case, I'm just not digging it. Hats off to people who can eat this stuff. I'll stick with Twizzlers.

Has anyone seen my insulin?

I'm finally starting to come down off the sugar-high I've been experiencing for the past four days. The von Schokolats arrived on Thursday and true to their word, had a gianormous bag full of German candy for me. I mean, the thing must've weighed ten pounds. I've never had that much candy in the house at one time. I have so much to write about (including our grand New York chocolate adventure) but I can't seem to concentrate on anything right now. My blood sugar is dipping and I'm ready to go to bed for the night, even though it's only 6 p.m. But stay tuned for fabulous tales of salted licorice, chocolate sandwiches, the world's most sour gum and more! (And here's a picture of the Baron dipping into a fabulous Haribo mix. Details to come!)

Today's the day!

The von Schokolats are scheduled to arrive some time this afternoon with my big bag o' European goodies. Hooray! The Baron called this morning to make sure that I saved him two PayDays. That's the thing about men ... it's like they don't realize you can just go to this mystical place called "the store" and buy what you want.
Holy cow. As I was just typing that I had a sudden memory. When I was little there was a consignment store in town called "The Store." I HATED that place. My mother would buy my clothes there and it freaked me out to wear someone else's clothes. (Two outfits particularly send shivers down my spine: the grey wool dress that my Sunday school teacher loved and the heinous itchy polyester pink pantsuit that I wore one time before finally declaring that I wouldn't wear anything besides jeans and a blue zippered sweatshirt, which, ironically enough, was used. My mother found it in church when she was cleaning up after Mass and no one claimed it, so it became mine.) But what does this have to with candy? Well, at some point "The Store" decided to expand its inventory and started selling candy, of all things. I remember walking home from school with my friends Melissa and Sean one day and we stopped there. I purchased a giant plastic tooth filled with gum. The irony of it made Melissa hysterical.
So anyhow, I'm looking forward to an evening of exotic candy tasting. And then tomorrow, we'll be venturing into New York City where I have a complete candy agenda set up. I'll report back as soon as I can!

The No-Chocolate candy bar

The Baron called me the other night and asked if I wanted to take part in a Biggest Loser weight loss contest again. The last time we did it, he won. Surprise, surprise. All he had to do was cut down to two hash browns at McDonald's rather than 14. Anyhow, yes, I said. I'm in.

So I woke up Monday and was raring to go. I had a healthy breakfast, then I loaded the little man in the stroller and did a nice power walk even though it was so humid it was like walking through water. I was ready to conquer the world! Bring on the salads! Let's do Pilates! Let's drink gallons and gallons of water. And then the doorbell rang.

And there sat a lovely box from Hershey's filled with Fresh From the Factory PayDays. Yes, you know, peanuts, caramel, nougat. Fresh. As in, just made. The gods must have quite a sense of humor.

The first thing I noticed was a sticker on the box that said "Saturday Delivery." Hmmm. It was delivered on Monday. When I opened the jar, I noticed the bars seemed a little flat and squishy, like they'd been sitting in someone's pocket all day. No matter, though. When I peeled off the wrapper, the aroma of fresh roasted peanuts wafted up. MMmm, mmm. I really think that PayDays are an underappreciated candy bar because they don't contain chocolate. But the combination of the salted nuts with the sweet caramel and nougat is really fabulous.

I'm not sure how I'm going to participate in this weight-loss contest, but I've got to give it a try. There's got to be some way to successfully incorporate candy into your daily diet without porking out. When I find the answer, I'll let you know.

Do you have anything to declare?

I got word this morning that the von Schokolats arrived safely back in the U.S. with their major stash of candy. Sadly, I will have to wait until August 16 to partake in the booty, and I'm fearful that the Baron and Liesel will ransack the goodies before then. But I've been told the following items are on tap: Stroopwaffels, 20 Euros' worth of delights from the Haribo factory, Mozart balls, the salt-encrusted licorice sardines or whatever they are, and some sort of stick that supposedly tastes like licorice. The excitement is palpable!

Notes From the Field: The Baron's gentle New World taste

After a few days of silence, the Baron has checked in with his latest findings:

We will pick up some of the licorice over here. It is like Swedish fish. But rather than just being black licorice it is coated in salt. Really like it but only 3 to 5 fish at a time. Too much salt for my gentle New World taste. As for some chocolate, Michelle picked up some Mozart balls in Austria for you. They were amazing!! Melt in your mouth. We bought one for us to try.

Ah, fantastic! I actually had the pleasure of Mozart chocolates when I was in Austria. The maid put one on my pillow every night. What a glorious trip that was ... my first press trip, a two-level room in a five-star hotel, dinner at the Sacher Hotel, a mind-numbing trip to the silver museum, gastrointestinal distress from the coffee .... hmm, maybe it wasn't so fantastic after all. But the chocolate was fabulous. Can't wait to try the Mozarts again! MMMM!

Notes from the field: Five a Day

Brother-in-law et al arrived safely in Germany. Mark (who from here on out shall be referred to as Baron von Schokolat) only managed to lose two passports in the process. Way to go! Anyhow, once the passports were retrieved, the von Schokolats hit the pavement looking for chocolatey goodness. Here's what he has to report:



Thought you might like to know this. In Europe, you can get your daily fruit intake and still have chocolate. We went into Hussels Candy Store in Bonn and had our daily fruit intake. It just happened to be hand-dipped in milk chocolate. We all tried them. Mixed opinions, but let's just say the group agreeded [sic] that chocolate improved the taste.



Apparently they had mango, banana, orange, apricot and melon. Mmmm. Sounds so yummy.



In other candy news, I had the second half of the Kinder Bueno last night that Betsy brought back from Paris. It was all melty because it's a zillion degrees out. So good. So, so good.



Also, a Candy Yum Yum! reader wrote me with this tidbit:

I just saw your brownie post, and thought I would send you along a concept my mother introduced me to. She takes a boxed brownie mix, prepares it, spoons half the batter in the pan, the covers the top in candy, usually quartered out -- 1 quarter with Andes candies, one with chopped up peanut butter cups, one with Skor/Heath bar bits, and the last with chopped up Mounds minis. Or some other assortment of candies. Then you cover everything with the rest of the batter. These are a big hit at work, especially if they think they are just getting a normal brownie.

Whoa! Does that sound yummy or what?! I love the idea of melted Andes in a fudgey brownie. And I love that the candy is hidden-- so fun! Thanks for sharing. Now I'm going to be craving these until I make them!

Guest review: Mark's take on the sweet stuff (or, Today's Fresh Hell)

Lord help me. I knew I never should've told my brother-in-law Mark about this blog. Most people just politely smile and say, "Oh, a candy blog. How nice for you," and then go on their merry way. Perhaps they'll gossip about me to their friends. "Can you believe that wacko? A candy blog? How old is she, twelve?" But rarely do they come back for a second look. (This is, of course, their loss.)

Yes, some friends are regular readers, and for them, I'm truly thankful. Their interest fuels my passion for all things chocolate and candy. And then there's Mark (pictured at right; note the dribble stains on his shirt).

I was sitting around this morning, relishing the quiet while H took his morning nap when the phone rang.

"Hey," said Mark. "Have you ever tried dark chocolate peanut M&Ms?" From the background noise I could only assume that he was standing in line at the convenience store. The answer is no, because I haven't seen them in these parts yet. And I so desperately want them.

He rattled off a few more candy bars, some which I've tried, some I haven't, so he said he'd try them and get back to me with his two cents. Apparently the fact that he and his family are leaving tomorrow for a two-week trip to Europe hasn't sent him into a packing flurry. I wonder why.

I returned home this afternoon to a very sweet e-mail from my niece Kaileigh:

Aunt Patti,
Daddy had me try a candy bar that I really really loved. They were both chocolate so of course I loved them. One was a Reses crispy crunch bar. It tasted like a resse penut butter cup with a great crunch.

Now that's a review, huh?! A girl after my own heart. Brava, Kaileigh! And then there was this: an e-mail from Mark saying that he decided to leave the review of the dark chocolate M&Ms to me, since he hates dark chocolate (such blasphemy!) but his notes on the others he did try:

1) Nestle Butterfinger Crisp
- 3 out of 3 family members loved it.
- Everyone liked how the wafer softened the hard Butterfinger crunch and taste. We are not much of a Butterfinger enthusiast.
- Almost tasted like a peanut butter wafer candy than a butter finger. Sort of had a Kit Kat crunch.
- If you don't like Butterfingers, this might be the candy for you.

2) Reese's Crispy Crunchy
- 3 out of 4 family members hated it.
- Our chocolate lover would eat it just because.
- The other 3 more sophisticated taste buds determined that this chocolate bar was nothing but a terrible marketing scam. If you advertise it as a "Crispy" and "Crunchy" then the consumer would expect a crunch. Very Very disappointing!! It was like a Peanut Butter cup with a few crushed peanuts on top. Almost spit it out, but I pushed through it.

Well, I must admit, I'm impressed with his research, especially since he doesn't have a particularly discerning palate. He actually made me want to scarf down a Butterfinger Crisp. But then, at the bottom of the e-mail, was this postscript:

PS - Michelle was wondering if we do these family taste tests and can email you the results why would we bring any candy back from Europe??

Well that's a fine how-do-you-do! Why would you bring back candy? Um, how about these reasons to start:

1) I'm your favorite sister-in-law

2) I love chocolate

3) You're going to Germany and Belgium, two of the world's best chocolate countries

4) If you don't bring me back chocolate, I won't join you for Thanksgiving thereby leaving you to fend for yourself while your wife and mother-in-law join forces and cause you to curl in the fetal position and watch endless episodes of Hannah Montana.

But it's your choice, Mark.