Some good, some bad

I haven't posted in a long time because of so many annoyances-- my computer, Blogger, my domain name, the new kitty that attacks me whenever I put my hands on the keyboard. I figured I was done with this whole blogging business. But the fact is, I just have a soft spot for candy and I probably always will. I'll get all this techo crap out of the way eventually (the cat is another story); in the meantime, enjoy these candies that I've been stockpiling.

I absolutely loved this Fluffy Toffee bar made by Seattle Chocolates. I'm not exactly sure why I chose it, since I'm not a huge toffee fan, but I'm glad I did. This was perhaps the closest candy bar I've ever had to what I envision the bars in Charlie & The Chocolate Factory to be like. The chocolate was smooth and creamy, and the marshmallow was fluffy with just enough stickiness. The toffee added a nice texture contrast.

Then, there is this, which I HATED. I really wanted to like it, because I generally don't like Vosges chocolate and I was hoping that this would be the one. Unfortunately, it wasn't. There's a lot of flavor there, but it's a big mouthful of bitter and nastiness. (Call me unsophisticated. I don't care.)

However, I do have some standards, and so I just couldn't get into this: Rockin' Nut Road Snickers. It was supposed to be all marshmallowey and nutty, but instead it just tasted like a big chemical mashup. For the record, the Sugar Baby enjoyed it.

Getting Exotic With the Baron

What do you get the guy who has everything (including the world's best sister-in-law)? Why, fancy-schmancy chocolate, of course! Since the Baron already belongs to the wino-of-the-month club, I thought he'd enjoy trying some unusual candy bars from Vosges. So I ordered him the "library of mini exotic candy bars," even though I knew I'd have to explain to him what a library is. I figured at the very least he'd feel the love from the Red Fire Bar: Mexican ancho & chipotle chilies, Ceylon cinnamon and dark chocolate.

The Baroness, being the ever-thoughtful Aries that she is, told him to wait until I came to visit before he shoved them all into his gaping maw so I could at least try a little nibble. So last night, we put on our tasting hats and went to town.

Now, as I've said before, I'm not much for combining chocolate with savory flavors. I wasn't thrilled with the Red Fire Bar and the Oaxaca Bar (guajillo & pastilla chillies with Tanzanian bittersweet chocolate) made my mouth burn and my stomach hurt. But I did quite like the Woolloomooloo Bar (roasted and salted macadamia nuts, Indonesian coconut, hemp seeds and deep milk chocolate) and I really, really liked the Barcelona Bar (hickory smoked almonds, grey sea salt and deep milk chocolate).

But the funny thing is, after we compared notes on all the various bars, the Baroness pulled out the remains of a Lindt Excellence Intense Mint Dark bar that she bought at Target ($3 for a 3.5 oz bar)-- and I liked it more than any of the mini exotic bars ($2.50 per .5 oz bar). I'm not sure if that means that I simply have plebian tastes, but who cares. Next year, I'm going to take the Baron to Target and let him go hog wild in the candy aisle.

Stop the Insanity!

It's time for me to take a stand. This isn't going to be pleasant, but I feel like I have no choice in the matter. I must assert myself and say: Enough with the fancy chocolate!
As I mentioned in a previous post, my sister Betsy received a Vosges Haut Chocolat Mo's Bacon Bar. Apparently she was working on a project involving healthy habits and a co-worker thought this would be a funny gift, along with a couple of other bars. This weekend I had the opportunity to sample them all. (That's my brother-n-law Jeff there, showing off the goods.)
According to the Vosges website, the idea for bacon and chocolate was inspired by chocolate chip pancakes and bacon. Well, who could argue with that? That's yummy. But bacon in a candy bar is not. It's not yummy and it's not funny. It's a waste of good chocolate. It tasted like salty salad bar bacon bits covered with chocolate. I tried to be open minded, I assure you, but the concensus was: gross! So then we moved onto the next one, "Calindia," which is Indian green cardamom, organic California walnuts and dried plums in dark chocolate. I actually thought I'd like this one. I mean, what's not to like? It's dried fruit and nuts. But whoa, man, that cardamom was just overwhelming. Waaaay too strong.
Lastly we tried the "Naga," sweet Indian curry powder, coconut flakes and milk chocolate. Again, I thought I'd enjoy this one, but holy moly, it was nasty.
"It smells like Indian take out," I said.
"It tastes like the spice cabinet," Betsy said.
Ick.
The worst part about the experience was that I felt like I was eating joke candy bars from Spencer Gifts, even though I know these are supposed to be sophisticated. I mean, this is quality chocolate to be sure. And I'm all for extreme sensory challenges, but this just doesn't work. My question is: does anyone truly eat these? Do fancy city-folk (as opposed to me, a hick suburbanite) really say, "Lovey, I'm craving a curry candy bar. Could you fetch me one on the way home?" Seriously. If any of you actually dig this stuff, let me know because I'm honestly curious.
Which leads me to say, there are certain flavors that are acceptable with chocolate, and others that I am banning from my candy canon. So here is the official (but not yet comprehensive) list of

Acceptable and Not Acceptable Candy Yum Yum combinations:

Chocolate and ...

Peanut butter: yay
Mustard: nay

Raspberry: yay
Beets: nay

Cinnamon, nutmeg, vanilla: yay
Black pepper, basil, oregano, thyme, lavender and/or dill: nay

Marshmallow: yay
Mayonnaise: nay

Nuts: yay
Beans: nay (except, of course, cocoa beans and coffee beans)

Cheese: yay
Chalk: nay

Potato chips: yay
Wood chips: nay

Mmmmm, bacon and chocolate

Hooray, I'm back! Well, the boxes are slowly disappearing and we're getting settled in. The other night I went to my secret candy stash and was appalled to find that it's pretty much empty. A few straggly chocolate samples, but nothing to speak of, so it's time to restock!

In the meantime, Betsy sent me an email saying a colleague sent her a Vosges Mo's Bacon Bar. Yes, you read that right: chocolate and bacon. Here's the description from the website:

Crisp, buttery, compulsively irresistible bacon and milk chocolate combination has long been a favorite of mine. I started playing with this combination at the tender age of six while eating chocolate chip pancakes drenched in maple syrup. Beside my chocolate-laden cakes laid three strips of fried bacon, just barely touching a sweet pool of maple syrup. Just a bite of the bacon was too salty and yearned for the sweet kiss of chocolate syrup. In retrospect, perhaps this was a turning point, for on that plate something magical happened: the beginnings of a combination so ethereal and delicious that it would haunt my thoughts until I found the medium to express it--chocolate

Well, when you compare it to bacon with chocolate chip pancakes, you can almost see how this would be yummy. No word yet from Betsy on how it tasted. I'll certainly keep you posted.

Viva Las Vegas!

Here's a good reason to go to Las Vegas. (As if the sun, great restaurants and Star Trek Experience weren't enough.)

Apparently this very funky restaurant Vintner Grill (www.vglasvegas.com) offers the only chocolate truffle flight in the country, featuring truffles by Vosges. Check out the menu:

• Olio d’Oliva (olive oil + white chocolate) with potato chips
• Dulce de Leche (Argentinean caramel + cashew + milk chocolate) on a piece of smoked bacon
• Naga (sweet Indian curry + coconut + milk chocolate) and corn nuts
• Absinthe (Chinese star anise + fennel + pastis + dark chocolate) aside Indian fennel seeds.
• Black Pearl (Japanese wasabi + ginger + black sesame seeds + dark chocolate) atop wasabi peas
• The Rooster (taleggio cheese + organic walnuts + vanilla bean + bittersweet dark chocolate) amongst cocoa nibs
  

Now even though my tastes veer toward the more plebian, I have to say that these combos sound intriguing, particularly the Olio d'Oliva and The Rooster. The Dulce de Leche sounds really good, too, although I must admit that the bacon kind of scares me.

And now for a public service announcement from Vosges:

How to Eat a Truffle:

Firstly…read the story. This sets the stage. It allows you to paint the picture through your imagination to conjure up the expectations as to how the chocolate will taste and where you will transcend.

See…there should be a glossy shine to the truffle, this shows a good temper: a tight bond between the cocoa butter and the cacao mass.

Lick…the spice on the top of the truffle; we always like to do this on the spice truffles because it gives a hint of what is to come, a teaser…

Snap… quality chocolate should always be dry to the touch. If the chocolate is stored at idea conditions between 63-65 degrees Fahrenheit when you take a bite you should hear a crisp, snap breaking through the outside to reach the creamy ganache inside.

Taste…we always like to bit the truffle in 2 bites. In the first bite you are just getting to know the truffle and in the second, you delve deeper searching out the flavors and nuances, you become immersed into the experience of the chocolate, you mouth and the sensations. The taste should have a long, lingering, finish that is layered with its perfumed notes.